Category: Book Review

Flourishing is the experience of life going well – a combination of feeling good and functioning effectively. It is the opposite of languishing – living a life that feels hollow and empty.

Everyone seeks a flourishing life, but the modern-day lifestyle generates a lot of stress, which is the cause of psychosomatic disorders, including hypertension, respiratory ailments, gastrointestinal disturbances, migraine, and ulcers.

Happiness is a deep sense of flourishing that arises from an exceptionally healthy mind. This is not a mere pleasurable feeling, a fleeting emotion, or a mood, but an optimal state of being.

RELAX YOUR BODY AND MIND

“Relaxation does not mean sleep. Relaxation means to be blissfully happy.”

 – Swami Satyananda Saraswati

Exercise is good for the body, but relaxation is equally important. Simple techniques of relaxing your body and mind can prove to be helpful in renewing vigour.

A balanced diet, regular exercise and adequate sleep are the basic pillars of healthy living. Activity and positivity make your life happier. Relaxation techniques help your body and mind to become calm and experience bliss.

Our body feels fatigue due to exertion. The mind becomes restless by fear, worries and anxiety. It is unavoidable. We need to take care of the body and mind daily.

Exercise is good for the body, but relaxation is equally important. A hectic day in the office, followed by strenuous work out at the gym, can sometimes make you feel exhausted. Simple techniques of relaxing your body and mind can prove to be helpful in renewing vigour.

The body and the mind are not separate entities. If you relax your body, the mind calms down and if you quieten your mind, the body feels relaxed. When the body and the mind are both relaxed, you feel full of joy and serenity.

Both the body and mind need exercise to keep them fit and they also need relaxation to recuperate. Walking, cycling, and swimming are exercises for the body while reading a book, learning a new skill, and solving a puzzle are exercises for the mind.

The body may feel fully relaxed after eight hours of sound sleep and the mind may feel blissful after an hour of deep meditation. But a sound sleep is fast becoming a rarity and not everyone is inclined to meditate.

We begin with a basic technique for relaxing the body. It is a simple practice that gives profound benefits. The sages have known this for ages.

You may do this exercise when you return from work in the evening, or before going to sleep in the night. You may do it after work-out, or anytime during the day when you feel tired and need relaxation.

EXERCISE

Relaxing the body.

Spread a yoga mat or carpet on the floor.

Lie down, flat on your back. 

Keep the feet slightly apart.

Place the arms by the side of your body, palms facing upwards.

The spine must be straight.

The head must be straight, facing upward, not falling on the side.

Adjust your body initially so that it is not tense.

Let each part of the body feel free.

You must feel relaxed.

Close your eyes gently.

Be calm and still, do not move.

Any physical movement will deprive you of the full benefits of the exercise.

Breathe naturally.

Allow the breath to be rhythmic and relaxed.

Be aware as you breathe in and as you breathe out.

Breathing in and breathing out, is one count.

Count your breaths gently.

You may count 21 breaths or 51 breaths, depending on how tired you feel and how much time you have in hand.

Relax.

Become aware of the environment around you and gently move your hand and legs.

Gently turn to the right side and get up.

Open your eyes.

Your body feels relaxed.

The body is deprived of proper rest when one sleeps with a twisted spine. It relaxes fully when one lies with a straight spine. The relaxation deepens as the breath slows down.

It is advisable to do this exercise on the floor, and not over the bed, to experience full relaxation. The body gets complete rest when the spine is straight, against a flat surface, and the breathing is rhythmic and slow.

At first, you may not feel the full benefits of the exercise but, as you develop the practice, you will start experiencing the deep relaxation it brings.

This is an ancient practice, known as shavasana, or the corpse pose, in yoga. It is an effective relaxation posture practised, for about ten minutes, at the close of a yoga session. During the session, it is used after difficult postures for a short relaxation.

THE ART OF BLISSFUL RELAXATION

If you go to sleep without resolving your tensions, you will not have a sound sleep. You must go to bed after throwing off all the burdens. When you have something in your mind, you will have a restless sleep, and you will not feel refreshed when you wake up.

In life, we are confronted with stressful situations from time to time. The stress may be physical, mental, or emotional.

When the endurance level of the body is over stretched, it feels uncomfortable, and you may feel muscular or endocrinal tension. The mind, at times, turns into a whirlpool of apprehensions and anxiety, making you feel mentally stressed. Relationships gone awry and things going haywire generate emotional stress.

Sometimes you feel helpless and totally stranded. The body suffers and you find yourself miserable. It looks like there is no way out but that is not true. There is a way out in such circumstances. 

It is a unique technique for inducing complete relaxation – physical, mental, and emotional. It is a systematic method in which you learn to relax consciously. You may call it – The Blissful Relaxation!

It is a practice that does not require many efforts on your part. You are only required to lie down and listen to the instructions. The instructions are precise and simple. No physical action is expected from you. Just listen to the voice.

Be aware and listen to the voice. Do not sleep. You must lie down comfortably as in the exercise described above. After you settle down, you will be asked to look at your whole body internally, keeping your eyes closed.

Then, you will be asked to rotate your consciousness through your limbs. You must repeat the name of the body part announced and form its image in your mind. Systematically, you will scan your entire body.

You will be taken on a beautiful tour of places and things that you have already seen. One by one, you will visualize a flowing river, boat, ocean, waves, beach, trees, flowers, mountains, rising sun, a small hut, flying birds, etc.

Your attention from the external world is moved inwards. The body relaxes completely, and the mind is fully aware. At the end of the exercise, when you are asked to open your eyes, you feel blissfully relaxed and rejuvenated.

It may be done at any time of the day when you feel the need to relax your body and mind. It must not be done immediately after meals. Half an hour of this exercise gives you the same relaxation as two hours of normal sleep. You feel so good that you would like to do the exercise every day.

On any day, when you feel you have not had a proper sleep, you may do it in the morning after getting up, and you will feel refreshed. Your productivity goes up. This is also a good tool for enhancing your creative capability.

You may do it in the evening after returning from work or before going to sleep. The fatigue goes away, and you will have a sound sleep.

This practice is derived ancient tantric scriptures. Swami Satyananda Saraswati, the founder of Bihar School of Yoga, re-constructed it in the present form. It is known as yoga nidra.

You may use the recordings of yoga nidra by Swami Satyananda Saraswati or his immediate disciple, Swami Niranjanananda Saraswati, available on the net, for your practice. Several other teachers and practitioners have also rendered their versions of the practice.

You feel fully relaxed – physiologically and psychologically – after a session of yoga nidra. The approximate duration of the practice is twenty to forty minutes.

It is suggested that you include the practices of shavasana and yoga nidra in your daily routine for relaxation of the body and the mind. They are healing and soothing. Their regular practice will reduce stress considerably and bring calm and peace to your life.

“In yoga nidra, the consciousness is in a state between waking and sleep. In this state, the mind is exceptionally receptive. The practice of yoga nidra enables one to receive intuitions from the unconscious mind. This state is the fount of artistic and poetic inspiration. It is also the source of the most creative scientific discoveries. The intuitions received in yoga nidra enable one to find within himself the answers to all problems. One’s true nature and integrity manifest, enabling him to live a meaningful and peaceful life in any environment. No longer emotionally identified with the mind and body, one’s entire being is pervaded with divine consciousness.”

Yoga Nidra/ Swami Satyananda Saraswati

“Yoga nidra is a systematic method of inducing complete physical, mental and emotional relaxation.”

 – Swami Satyananda Saraswati

BREATHE, LOOK INWARD

“In our daily life our minds are almost continually externalized. We see and hear only what is going on outside of us, and we have little understanding of the events taking place in our inner environment.”

– Swami Satyananda Saraswati

Deep breathing is the simplest way to relax physically, mentally, and emotionally – anytime, anywhere.

We spend most of our waking time looking at the external world. Seldom do we look inward. Most of the time we are not aware of our respiration. Our feelings, emotions and thoughts overpower us as we do not have time to watch them dispassionately.

We have been given guidelines as to how to search for things outside ourselves but hardly any directions have been given on how to look inwards. We must train ourselves to look inside.

How good would it be if we could look at our real selves and understand what is happening in our inner world. There is so much turmoil there. If it could somehow be resolved, we would be in harmony with ourselves and feel peaceful.

Deep breathing is the simplest way to relax physically, mentally, and emotionally – anytime, anywhere. Just sit down, back straight, feet firmly grounded, eyes closed, and take three deep breaths.

Breathe deeply through your nose, into your belly, and exhale in a relaxed manner. The longer and slower the exhalation, the better it will be. You will experience relaxation instantly.

If you are feeling stressed, take three deep breaths again. Depending on the fatigue and time available, you may repeat the three deep breaths any number of times. Once you get accustomed to the practice and feel the benefits for yourself, you will be able to do it quietly while doing any other work.

Deep breathing infuses oxygen – a vital life force – into your bloodstream and expels toxins and stale carbon dioxide. You feel refreshed and more productive.

INNER SILENCE

The outer world is full of volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity. That makes it perplexing.

On one hand, there are challenges but, on the other hand, there are opportunities. You must make your own decisions. The pros and cons of every step cause anxiety and hope.

There are many voices coming from the inside that may sometimes confuse you. If you know how to cope with the inner noise, you will have better control of the happenings around you.

EXERCISE

Observing inner noise and inner silence.

Roll a yoga mat or a small carpet on the floor. Place a small cushion over it.

Sit down comfortably on the cushion, legs folded crosswise, back straight, head straight, and eyes gently closed.

Take your own time to settle down. No hurry.

Listen to the sounds around you. Do not feel disturbed. No sound is good, no sound is bad. Do not worry about its origin. Do not concentrate on it. Just listen as a dispassionate observer.

After some time, you will hear less and less of the sounds.

Keeping your eyes closed, look at yourself internally. Pass your attention through each of your body parts. Do it in a relaxed manner.

Observe your breath as it goes in through the nostrils and comes out.

Watch your feelings and thoughts as they come and go. Do not worry if they are good or bad. Just watch them like an observer.

Initially, there will be a lot of noise inside, but it will gradually fade away, as you continue to watch it like a neutral spectator.

Do not be in a hurry. Take your own time to settle down.

Now, generate a thought consciously. Watch the thought like a witness. Let it fade away.

Generate another thought. Watch it dispassionately. Let it also go away.

Do not let any random thought occupy your mind. If any random thought arises, dispose it off. Do not allow it to stay.

This is the stage to generate thoughts at your will – the thoughts that you wish to have – watch them for some time and then let them go away.

In the next phase, dispose all random thoughts and any other thoughts that your mind generates. Let there be no thoughts.

As soon as a thought crops up, watch it and dispose it off. Do not allow any thought to stay in your mind.

Let there be shoonya or total vacuum. The mind must be totally empty. No thoughts must be allowed to stay there. Dispose them immediately.

This state of thoughtlessness is inner silence.

In the beginning, you were witness to inner noise. Now, you are observing inner silence.

This relaxes the mind fully and you experience peace. The stress goes away.

You feel relaxed.

When you do this exercise for the first few times, you may not get the desired results fully. But, after some practice, you will start feeling relaxed and stress free.

It is a practice, when once developed, remains with you throughout the day. Just look inwards and observe what is going on dispassionately. Like a witness.

You may practice it daily – any time – for about twenty to forty minutes.

This is an ancient practice, known as antar mouna, or inner silence.

Online versions of antar mouna by Swami Niranjananada Saraswati are freely available and you may initially listen to them and develop your practice. After some time, you will be able to do it by yourself.

The best time for any practice of a meditative nature is early in the morning when the surroundings are peaceful. You may also do antar mouna in the evening after returning from work, or before going to bed. It takes a while to develop the practice but, after some time, you start experiencing life optimally.

“Antar mouna is one of the few ‘permanent sadhanas’ which can be practised simultaneously all the twenty-four hours of the day by anyone who is really determined to know oneself. By maintaining awareness of one’s internal environment, thoughts, emotional reactions, etc., one can speed up one’s personal evolution to the utmost degree. It will make one understand the workings of one’s own rational and irrational mind, as well as giving one an understanding of what makes other people tick.”

Meditations from the Tantras/ Swami Satyananda Saraswati

“Antar mouna is a complete training system for the awareness process; it teaches one how to know the processes of the mind and ways in which one can bring them under control.”

 – Swami Satyananda Saraswati

STRETCH, BEND, TWIST, TURN

“Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very far.”

– Thomas Jefferson

Exercise freestyle. Do not stress, let it be fun. Stretch, bend, twist, turn, whirl, move, and jump.

Getting up early and going to a park in the neighbourhood could be a rewarding habit to develop. It gives you a whiff of fresh air and sunshine that makes you feel refreshed the whole day. Once you add it to your routine, you will start looking forward to the morning, and it will become a rewarding hour of the day for you.

Start with a gentle walk and then walk briskly. Twenty to thirty minutes of walking every day can do wonders for you in the long run. It is good for your circulatory system and relaxes you a great deal.

Watching the trees and the flowers while walking gives a healing and soothing touch to your senses. It relaxes your eyes and is good for your eyesight too! Walking is not just an exercise, it reduces stress. You feel relaxed.

Exercises are not only good for your body. They bring happiness and well-being. Whenever you feel low, get up and move out to the neighbourhood park.

Physically active people are happier. Also, they have better life-satisfaction, and higher self-esteem. Exercise reduces depression, anxiety, stress, and panic; it betters mental processing, creates longer life, improves sleep quality, and strengthens the immune system.

It is exercise itself that infuses us with happiness. Among various types of activities, exercise is the most reliable happiness boosting activity.

Find a quiet corner for yourself and just stretch, bend, twist, turn, and whirl your body in a freestyle manner. Do not worry too much. Nothing is right or wrong. Do whatever you feel like doing.

FREESTYLE EXERCISES

Walking, coupled with some freestyle exercises in a relaxed manner, brings multiple benefits. It stretches your skeletal structure, improves your blood circulation, and is good for your muscles. It is good for your heart and the respiratory track. This, in turn, activates your endocrine system.

Stand on both your feet in a balanced manner. Cross your palms, fingers interlocked, and stretch your arms straight above your head. Stretch, stretch, stretch! Keeping your palms interlocked, up above your head, bend to the right and then bend to the left. Now, take your palms in front of you, bend forward, and stretch.

Let your hands dangle freely below your waist. Twist your waist sidewise to the right and then to the left. Let your arms move slowly as if a washing machine is in motion. Twist your lower body and keep moving your arms sidewise for some time.

Close your fists and bring them close to tour chest. Twist your upper body and move your arms. keeping them together at chest height.

Raise your arms above your head and gently bend backwards from your waist. Stay there for a while. Then, raise your hands up and go on to bend forward, as far as you can comfortably. Raise your arms up again. Now, repeat the actions and swing your arms rhythmically, bending backward and forward. Inhale as you go up and exhale as you come down.

Open your arms wide, bring them forward crosswise, and hit the back of your shoulders with palms. Swing the arms back to wide open position. Bring them forward again, but this time keep the other arm on the top and hit the back of shoulders with palms. Alternatively, keep one arm on top and the other arm below. Keep on opening your arms and then swinging to hit the back of shoulders for some time.

Dangle your arms by the sides of your waist and then lift them up in a ‘V’ shape. Bring them back to the sides of your waist and then again take them up in a swinging action. Inhale as you go up and exhale as you come down.

Be on your toes and jump upward gently. Continue jumping for some time.

Place both your hands on your waist, breath in deeply through your nose, and exhale through your mouth making an ‘O’ with the lips. Repeat it thrice.

Stand balanced on both your feet. Stretch your arms fully sidewise. Turn to your right and whirl in a clockwise direction. Move slowly. Find an object at a distance and fix your gaze for a moment on it after each round. Go slow. Complete 10 – 20 rounds. Afterwards, stop and be stationary for some time. Do not move abruptly. If you feel dizzy, bend slightly, put your palms on your thighs, and look at the floor.

These exercises are only illustrative. You may add more of your own. Do not stress, let it be fun. Be freestyle. Stretch, bend, twist, turn, whirl, move, and jump. These exercises will make you feel good throughout the day. No equipment is needed. If you do not go out on any day, you may do these exercises at your home too.

EXERCISE

Play like a child.

Take permission from a group of children and join them in play. Play with them like a child.

Run, jump, and shout. Be fully immersed in the game. Forget the world.

Pour all your energy and heart into the game. Put in all your enthusiasm.

Enjoy the game.

Laugh whole heartedly.

Until you merge completely with the children. You are not an outsider who has joined them. Everyone is equal.

Sing, dance, play and laugh in unison with all of them. Enjoy the fun. Be a kid. Until you begin to perspire.

Have a hot shower and relax.

You feel positive and joyous.

Strenuous exercises may sometimes be harmful but light and freestyle exercises are always good. Go back to your childhood days, remember all the funny exercises you used to do, and try to re-create them. Gentle jogging, half jumps and stretching-bending exercises could be great fun, especially when done with children. The children would also be happy if you join them occasionally.

No equipment is needed, and you are not required to follow strict schedules. No membership fees and no registrations. Just have fun and get all the benefits. Include freestyle exercises in your routine. You will feel free and relaxed throughout the day.

“Physical fitness is the first requisite of happiness.”

“Our interpretation of physical fitness is the attainment and maintenance of a uniformly developed body with a sound mind fully capable of naturally, easily, and satisfactorily performing our many and varied daily tasks with spontaneous zest and pleasure.”

“To achieve the highest accomplishments within the scope of our capabilities in all walks of life we must constantly strive to acquire strong, healthy bodies and develop our minds to the limit of our ability.”

 – Return to Life/ Joseph Pilates and William Miller

“Research demonstrates that exercise may be the most reliable happiness booster of all activities.”

 – Sonja Lyubomirsky

A BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF THE BOOK:

Do you want to be happier? Would you like to increase your well-being and flourish? This book will help you flourish!

Flourishing is the experience of life going well – a combination of feeling good and functioning effectively. It is the opposite of languishing – living a life that feels hollow and empty.

Everyone seeks a flourishing life, but the modern-day lifestyle generates a lot of stress, which is the cause of psychosomatic disorders, including hypertension, respiratory ailments, gastrointestinal disturbances, migraine, and ulcers.

In this book, you will find simple, effortless, and painless practices for authentic happiness, stress management, and lasting peace. These exercises are easy to do, can be taken up by anyone, and require no previous training or experience.

The contents include how to relax your body and mind, knowing your inner self, freestyle exercise, life-long learning and evolving, autonomy and self-determination, flourishing, and spirituality.

After reading this book, you will have a deep understanding of the elements of authentic happiness and well-being. This book helps you to lead a flourishing life.

(This book is available in paperback and kindle formats on Amazon.)

© Jagat Singh Bisht

A short video about the book:

(Mr. Jagat Singh Bisht)

Amazon Kindle Link: 👉  CULTIVATING HAPPINESS: A Guide to Practices that do Wonders : Bisht Jagat Singh

Book Excerpt

Amazon Kindle Link for Book Preview : 👉   Book preview: CULTIVATING HAPPINESS

 Prologue:

“Change in the world always begins with an individual who shares what he or she has learned and passes it on to others.”

-Dalai Lama

Do you seek health, happiness, and peace? Would you like to increase your well-being and flourish?

Would you mind exploring a happy state of mind called flow, the feeling of complete engagement in a creative or playful activity?

Do you value gratitude, meaning, and better relationships, and want an abundance of these in your life?

The good news is that all this is possible. You can learn these skills to make your life happier.

This book takes you on a pathway to authentic happiness, well-being, and a meaningful life.

It will equip you with sustainable scientific and spiritual tools to cultivate a happy and fulfilling life with a greater sense of well-being.

LIFE SKILLS FOR AUTHENTIC HAPPINESS

To experience authentic happiness, you need to have a true understanding – scientific as well as spiritual – of happiness and practise exercises – like yoga, meditation – for well-being.

This book outlines twelve sets of proven practices that are known to bring health, happiness, and peace.

You will find a brief description of each of the practices, step by step instructions on how to perform them, followed by deep insights into them from experienced practitioners.

Some of the practices – like yoga – are exercises to be done on a regular basis, while the remaining – like spirituality – are essentially programmes that run at the back of your mind.

You may choose as many practices as you wish and add to your repertoire to enrichen your experience of life.

It is not necessary to learn all the skills at one go and practise them. You may learn the skills one by one at your own pace and develop a fit that suits you.

You will slowly discover the activities that suit your temperament and requirement.

THE FOUNDING PILLARS OF WELL-BEING

Taking care of body, mind and spirit is of utmost importance. It is like a tripod. All limbs must be equally strong for balance and harmony. We need to transform the entire experience of life by taking care of all the relevant dimensions – physiological, psychological, and spiritual.

This work is the result of years of deep study and practical sessions with people from all walks of life. A holistic approach that carefully blends the best of positive psychology, laughter yoga, yoga, meditation, and spirituality, evolved over time:

Positive psychology is the science of happiness. It provides authentic understanding of happiness and well-being and dispels myths and wrong notions about happiness. It is a treasure trove of evidence-based happiness-increasing strategies from which one may choose activities suitable for oneself.

Laughter yoga combines laughter exercises with yogic breathing. It is instrumental in oxygenation of the body, strengthening immune system, and stress relief as feel-good hormones known as endorphins are generated during the process.

Yoga can do wonders for your health by stimulating endocrinal systems and taking care of neuro-muscular systems. It is suitable for modern day lifestyle diseases and brings about body-mind union.

Meditation is an invaluable tool for calming, concentration, and purification of the mind. It clears clouds and lets you seek wisdom.

Spirituality provides right view and right understanding of life. It gives spiritual insight into right speech, right action, and right livelihood.

After years of deep study and practical sessions, we believe that the practice of yoga, meditation, and laughter yoga along with fundamental understanding of positive psychology and spirituality can lead you to lasting happiness and peace.

Wish you a happy journey into the realms of health, happiness, and peace!

“Positive Psychology takes seriously the bright hope that if you find yourself stuck in the parking lot of life, with few and only ephemeral pleasures, with minimal gratifications, and without meaning, there is a road out. This road takes you through the countryside of pleasure and gratification, up into the high country of strength and virtue, and finally to the peaks of lasting fulfilment, meaning, and purpose.”

-Dr Martin Seligman

1

HAPPINESS

Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.

-Aristotle

Are you seeking authentic happiness? Do you want to enhance your well-being and flourish? Happiness is the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.

Everyone seeks happiness in life. No one desires misery. Twenty-three hundred years ago, Aristotle said that different men seek after happiness in different ways and by different means, and so make for themselves different modes of life.

According to positive psychologists, people flourish when they experience a balance of positive emotions, engagement with the world, good relationships with others, a sense of meaning and moral purpose, and the accomplishment of valued goals.

Does happiness reside within us or in the outside world? That is a baffling question to which Jonathan Haidt gives a beautiful response, “Happiness comes not just from within or even a combination of internal and external factors, happiness comes from “between”.

“Just as plants need sun, water, and good soil to survive, people need love, work, and a connection to something larger.

“It is worth striving to get the right relationships between yourself and others, between yourself and your work, and between yourself and something larger than yourself.

“If you get these relationships right, a sense of purpose and meaning will emerge.”

It is true that we all have a genetic set point of happiness built into us and we are as happy or unhappy in our life as were our parents and grandparents during their lives.

Some happiness also depends on the circumstances of life – whether married or single, social relationships, money, age, religion, living in a democracy or under military dictatorship, etc.

But the good news is that about forty percent of happiness is under our voluntary control and depends on the intentional activities that we choose to do in life. This is important – up to 40% happiness is within your power to change!

Action and activity are the keys to happiness in your life. Positive psychology tells us of several evidence-based scientific exercises that bring more happiness and positivity. These are called happiness activities.

CREATING YOUR HAPPINESS

Happiness lies in activities.

All activities may not lead to happiness but there is no happiness without activity. You can create your own happiness by voluntarily engaging in activities like exercise, yoga, meditation, helping someone, being kind, expressing gratitude, and savouring life’s little pleasures.

Happiness activities like Expressing Gratitude, Nurturing Social Relationships, Increasing Flow Experiences, Practicing Yoga, and Meditation are known to increase your level of happiness.

Here are some evidence-based, scientifically proven, exercises that make you happier. Choose the activities that you like and practice them regularly. You will feel happier!

HAPPINESS ACTIVITIES:

What-Went-Well

Each night before going to sleep, write down three things that went well during the day, that made you happy or things for which you are grateful.

These may be small things or important ones.

Doing this exercise regularly can help you appreciate the positive in your life rather than take it for granted.

You can do this exercise on our own or with a loved one – a partner, child, parent, sibling, or close friend.

Expressing gratitude together can contribute in a meaningful way to the relationship.

Have A Beautiful Day

Set aside a free day every month to indulge in your favourite pleasures.

Pamper yourself.

Have a beautiful day.

Design, in writing, what you will do from hour to hour.

Be mindful and savour every moment of the beautiful day.

Do not let the bustle of life interfere and carry out the plan.

The Gratitude Visit

Select one important person from your past who has made a major positive difference in your life and whom you have never fully expressed your thanks.

Take your time to compose a testimonial just long enough to cover one laminated page.

Travel to that person’s home.

It is important to do this face to face, not just in writing or on the phone.

Do not tell the person the purpose of the visit in advance; a simple “I just want to see you” will suffice.

When all settles down, read your testimonial aloud slowly, with expression, and with eye contact.

Then let the other person react unhurriedly.

Reminisce together about the concrete events that make this person so important to you.

Gratitude helps us build new relationships and strengthen existing ones.

It dissolves anger, bitterness, and jealousy.

Gratitude is a meta strategy for happiness.

Cultivate an attitude of gratitude to be happier in life.

Simplify

Answer the following questions:

Where can I simplify?

What can I give up?

Am I spending too much time on the internet or watching TV?

Can I reduce the number of meetings at work or the duration of some of the meetings?

Am I saying “yes” to activities to which I can say “no”?

Commit to reducing the busyness in your life.

Simplify, slow down, be kind. And do not forget to have an art in your life – music, paintings, theatre, dance, and sunsets.

Practicing Acts of Kindness

True happiness consists in making others happy.

In our daily lives, we all perform acts of kindness for others.

These acts may be large or small and the person for whom the act is performed may or may not be aware of the act.

Examples include feeding a stranger, donating blood, helping a friend with homework, visiting an elderly relative, or writing a thank-you letter.

Over the next week, try to perform at least three acts of kindness that you may decide.

Learning to Forgive

This exercise involves letting go of your anger, bitterness, and blame by writing, but not sending a letter of forgiveness to a person who has hurt or wronged you.

In it describe in detail the injury or offence that was done to you.

Illustrate how you were affected by it at the time and how you continue to be hurt by it.

State what you wish the other person had done instead.

End with an explicit statement of forgiveness and understanding – e.g. “I realize now that what you did was the best you could at the time, and I forgive you”.

TAKING CARE OF YOUR BODY AND SOUL

Taking care of the body and soul is of utmost importance for happiness and well-being.

Everyone knows that physical exercise is good for health. But positive psychologists have discovered that physical exercise enhances your level of happiness and well-being.

Go for long walks, trek, jog, gym, practice yoga, swim, play basketball, or learn the martial arts. It will not only improve your health and fitness, but it is also good for your overall well-being.

Exercise reduces depression, anxiety, stress, and panic; it betters mental processing, creates longer life, improves sleep quality, and strengthens the immune system.

Research demonstrates that exercise may be the most reliable happiness booster of all activities.

Acting like a happy person also makes you happy – seems strange but it is now scientifically proven. So, go join a laughter club and laugh for no reason. The body cannot differentiate between real and fake laughter and you get an instant mood boost.

Meditation relaxes the body and mind and brings peace. It takes care of your mind, body, and soul. When you are relaxed and peaceful, there is no tension of mind and no tension of body. You are fully stress free and can concentrate upon whatever you do.

Scientists have also found that practising religion and spirituality makes one happy. You may have your own ways of prayers, meditation, or any other rituals.

Overthinking and stress are harmful for your health and reduce your happiness.

Overthinking is thinking too much, needlessly, passively, endlessly, and excessively pondering the meanings, causes, and consequences of your character, your feelings, and your problems. If you want to be happy, avoid overthinking and social comparisons.

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with so high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense,” recommends Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Stress is a major contributing factor in lifestyle diseases. Choose stress management techniques like mindfulness of breathing, vipassana or transcendental meditation for coping with stress.

Savour the positive experiences in your life. Benjamin Franklin was right when he said, “Happiness consists more in small conveniences or pleasures that occur every day, than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom.”

Have an optimistic approach about future to be happy. Looking at the bright side, finding the silver lining in the cloud, noticing what is right rather than focussing on what is wrong, having positive friends and avoiding the negative ones, giving yourself the benefit of doubt, feeling good about your future and future of the world, or simply trusting that you can get through the day – all are strategies for cultivating optimism.

Do not spend your free time mindlessly. Choose an active pursuit of happiness over passive hedonism. Instead of doing nothing, watching TV, after returning from work, turn to your hobbies, or other activities that challenge you. You may also think of spending quality time with your near and dear ones, finding time to call upon someone not keeping well, or having an engaging conversation with old friends.

Happiness Mantra

Do yoga and meditation every morning or go for a walk in the park and exercise.

Smile and be kind to all.

Spend quality time with family and friends.

Engage deeply in work, study, play, love, and parenting.

Connect with a meaningful cause.

PEARLS OF WISDOM

Happiness does not just feel good. It is good for you and for society. Happy people are more successful, have better relationships, are healthier and live longer.

Psychological wealth includes life satisfaction, the feeling that life is full of meaning, a sense of engagement in interesting activities, the pursuit of important goals, the experience of positive emotional feelings, and a sense of spirituality that connects people to things larger than themselves.

It appears that the way people perceive the world is much more important to happiness than objective circumstances.

-Edward Deiner

People generally have the misconception that, to be successful, they must postpone their happiness. Ironically, what research is showing is that happiness is the fast track to success. If, instead of overworking and burning out, you take time to relax, to cultivate calmness, to stay present, and to be compassionate to yourself and others, you will be more productive, more resilient to stress, more charismatic and influential, and more creative and innovative.

-Emma Seppala

Those who seek happiness in pleasure, wealth, glory, power, and heroics are as naive as the child who tries to catch a rainbow and wear it as a raincoat.

-Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche

We cannot reach happiness by consciously searching for it. It is being fully involved with every detail of our lives, whether good or bad, that we find happiness, not by trying to look for it directly. The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.

-William Morris

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

Unless there is inner peace, you will not experience happiness. If your mind is serene and calm, it is possible for this inner peace to overwhelm a painful physical experience. But if you suffer from any form of emotional distress, then even while enjoying physical comforts, you will not be able to experience the happiness that these could bring.

-Dalai Lama

Happiness does not just exist in the present but also can be drawn from past events. Try savouring past successes, enjoyable experiences and other golden memories by making a habit out of looking at memorabilia or trading stories with a spouse or friends.

You will be surprised to find that you can draw actual happiness– right now– from events that have taken place long ago. Rather than looking for increased happiness in a better future you can mine your past experiences to pay out happiness dividends!

-Ed Diener & Robert Biswas-Diener

We are partly responsible for the happiness or unhappiness we experience. We can all make ourselves happier.

The still and the harmonious mind is happy and joyful; the unhappy, disturbed, or violent mind is never still. Mindfulness, contemplation, meditation, and prayer are pathways to greater stillness.

Kindness and goodness make us happier: selfishness and unkindness make us unhappy now or in the longer term. It is inevitable.

Letting go of attachments to possessions, thoughts and feelings, especially in the ‘second half’ of our lives, is the way to the joy and reality that lie beyond happiness.

-Anthony Seldon

Contrary to what most of us believe, happiness does not simply happen to us. It is something that we make happen.

-Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.

-William James

Happiness is a deep sense of flourishing, not a mere pleasurable feeling or fleeting emotion but an optimal state of being.

-Matthieu Ricard

Happiness does not come automatically. It is not a gift that good fortune bestows upon us and a reversal of fortunes takes back. It depends on us alone.

One does not become happy overnight, but with patient labour, day after day. Happiness is constructed, and that requires effort and time. In order to become happy, we have to learn how to change ourselves.

-Luca & Francesco Cavalli-Sforza

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.

-Thich Nhat Hanh

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

-Mahatma Gandhi

Those only are happy who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness; on the happiness of others, on the improvement of mankind, even on some art or pursuit, followed not as a means, but as itself an ideal end. Aiming thus at something else, they find happiness by the way.

The enjoyments of life are sufficient to make it a pleasant thing, when they are taken en passant, without being made a principal object. Once make them so, and they are immediately felt to be insufficient. They will not bear a scrutinizing examination.

Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so. The only chance is to treat, not happiness, but some end external to it, as the purpose of life.

Let your self-consciousness, your scrutiny, your self-interrogation, exhaust themselves on that; and if otherwise fortunately circumstanced you will inhale happiness with the air you breathe, without dwelling on it or thinking about it, without either forestalling it in imagination, or putting it to flight by fatal questioning.

-John Stuart Mill

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

What is the Happiness Formula?

The Happiness Formula is

H = S + C + V

The enduring level of happiness that you experience (H) is determined by your biological set point (S) plus the conditions of your life (C) plus the voluntary activities (V) you do.

50% of the happiness depends on the genes you have inherited (S) and is called the biological set point, 10% on the circumstances of your life (C) such as money, marriage, social life, health, education, climate, race, gender, and religion; and 40% on the voluntary activities (V) that you undertake.

What is the PERMA Theory of Well-being?

Happiness is a thing and well-being is a construct. For example, weather is made up of elements like temperature, humidity, windspeed, barometric pressure, and the like.

Martin Seligman, known as the father of Positive Psychology, developed the PERMA model, which identifies the five things necessary for wellbeing. PERMA stands for positive emotion (P), engagement (E), relationships (R), meaning (M) and achievement (A).

What is the AIM Model of Happiness?

Psychologists Ed Diener and Robert Biswas-Diener propounded the AIM Model of Happiness.

Attention: Pay close attention to the good things that happens to you.

Interpretation: Try to interpret the experiences in positive light. Look for the positive whenever you can.

Memory: Peg the positive events to your memory. Paint positive mental pictures of your experiences.

REFERENCE BOOKS

FLOURISH: A New Understanding of HAPPINESS AND WELL-BEING – and How to Achieve Them by Martin Seligman.

AUTHENTIC HAPPINESS: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment by Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D.

THE HAPPINESS HYPOTHESIS: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom by Jonathan Haidt

THE HOW OF HAPPINESS: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want by Sonja Lyubomirsky.

HAPPIER: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment by Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph. D.

“Through daily physicality and other lifestyle choices we have the power to make ourselves happier.”

-Christopher Bergland

2

ENGAGEMENT

If you observe a really happy man, you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double dahlias in his garden, or looking for dinosaur eggs in the Gobi Desert.

-Walter Beran Wolfe

Do you remember being totally engrossed in an activity – reading an absorbing book, trekking inside a beautiful forest, or playing with children – forgetful of yourself and the surroundings, when time stood still? This optimal experience is known as flow. Would you like to have more flow experiences in your life?

Happiness is a flowing river – a river that flows continuously – it is not a stagnant pool.

Happiness consists in activity – go for a long walk, exercise, do yoga, meditate, sing, dance, paint, play football, swim, travel, or learn a new skill.

Whatever you do, engage fully. Go deep into it – immerse yourself fully.

Just like a musician – who forgets himself, is oblivious of the surroundings and time, and ultimately becomes one with the musical instrument and the music.

Engage deeply – be it play, work, love, or parenting. And experience flow.

When you are in flow – deep into music, play, work, reading, or smiling with your child – oblivious of time and self, you are in heaven.

Flow is total absorption in an activity – you lose sense of time and self.

What more could you ask for when you are fully present, immersed in something worthwhile, and there is an exhilarating feeling of transcendence?

THE CONCEPT OF FLOW

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi is a professor at the Drucker School of Management in California. He has been involved in research on topics related to optimal experience or “flow”. During his studies, he tried to understand as exactly as possible how people felt when they most enjoyed themselves, and why.

His first studies involved a few hundred “experts” – artists, athletes, musicians, chess masters, and surgeons – in other words, people who seemed to spend their time in precisely those activities they preferred. From their accounts of what it felt like to do what they were doing.

Csikszentmihalyi developed a theory of optimal experience based on the concept of flow – the state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter; the experience itself is so enjoyable that people will do it even at great cost, for the sheer sake of doing it.

Flow is what we feel when we are fully alive, involved with what we do, and in harmony with the environment around us. It is something that happens most easily when we sing, dance, do sports – but it can happen when we work, read a good book, or have a good conversation.

Flow is the psychology of optimal experience. During flow, people experience deep enjoyment, creativity, and a total involvement with life.

Let us listen to some of the people who have experienced flow:

“You are so involved in what you are doing, you are not thinking about yourself as separate from the immediate activity. You are no longer a participant-observer, only a participant. You are moving in harmony with something else you are part of.”

-ROCK CLIMBER

“You feel like there’s nothing that will be able to stop you or get in your way. And you are ready to tackle anything, and you do not fear any possibility happening, and it’s just exhilarating.”

-CYCLIST

“You are not aware of the body except your hands – not aware of self or personal problems. If involved, you are not aware of aching feet, not aware of self.”

-SURGEON

“Concentration is like breathing: You never think of it. The roof could fall in and, if it missed you, you would be unaware of it.”

-CHESS PLAYER

“Two things happen – after it is passed, (time) seems to have passed really fast. I see that it is one o’clock in the morning and I say, ‘Ah-ha, just a few minutes ago it was eight o’clock.’ But then while I am dancing… it seems like it’s been much longer than it really was.”

-SOCIAL DANCER

“Do it for the satisfaction it gives. This is what I tell my students. Don’t expect to make money, don’t expect fame or a pat on the back, don’t expect a damn thing. Do it because you love it.”

-COMPOSER

HOW TO EXPERIENCE FLOW

The experience of flow makes our life richer, more complex, and intense.

To experience flow, find an activity that you find interesting, that you love to do, that gives you a sense of satisfaction and fulfilment. Do it with full concentration and absorption. Go deeper and deeper into it.

Engage fully to meet the challenges the task offers by upscaling your skills by continuous learning. Find ways and means to repeat the activity again and again.

Some activities are more conducive for flow experience and seem to have been designed for optimal experience, like singing, making music, rock climbing, games, sailing, and chess.

Yoga and the martial arts are activities that ingrain in us the control of body and its experience. They could be considered as the ultimate exercises leading to optimal experience and flow.

Csikszentmihalyi observes, “The similarities between Yoga and flow are extremely strong; in fact, it makes sense to think of Yoga as a very thoroughly planned flow activity. Both try to achieve a joyous, self-forgetful involvement through concentration, which in turn is made possible by a discipline of the body.”

You may have an optimal experience with deep involvement in intellectual and scientific pursuits, including reading, writing and poetry, and work. If one finds flow in work, one is well on the way toward improving the quality of life. People who learn to enjoy their work, who do not waste their free time, end up feeling that their lives have become much more worthwhile.

Abraham Maslow coined and defined the term “plateau experience” as a sort of continuing peak experience that is more voluntary and one that requires a lifetime of long and arduous effort.

According to him, “Such people who appear to be in harmony with their lives often have moments of an extraordinary occurrence called ‘peak experiences’. These are profound moments of intense rapture and well-being, along with possibly the awareness of ultimate truth and the unity of all things. Accompanying them is a heightened sense of control over the body and emotions and a wider sense of awareness.”

WHAT MAKES FLOW ACTIVITIES ENJOYABLE

Why is playing a game enjoyable, while the things we have to to do every day – like working, waiting for the bus, or sitting at home – are often so boring?

Activities like sports and games, surfing, dance, and theatre make optimal experience easier to achieve. They have rules that require the learning of skills, they set up goals, they provide feedback, they make control possible.

They provide concentration and involvement by making the activity as distinct as possible from the mundane chores of everyday existence.

“For example,” Csikszentmihalyi describes, “In each sport participants dress up in eye-catching uniforms and enter special enclaves that set them apart temporarily from ordinary mortals. For the duration of the event, players and spectators cease to act in terms of common sense and concentrate on peculiar reality of the game.”

Such flow activities provide intensely enjoyable experiences. Because of the way they are constructed, they help participants and spectators achieve an ordered state of mind that is highly enjoyable.

Games offer ample opportunities to go beyond the boundaries of ordinary experiences. For example, in competitive sports – athletics, rugby, tennis – the participants are required to stretch their skills to meet the challenge provided by the skills of the opponents.

Any activity that transforms the way we perceive reality is enjoyable. Vertigo is the name given to activities that alter consciousness by scrambling ordinary perception. Small children love to turn around in circles until they are dizzy, girls have fun doing the merry-go-round, the whirling dervishes of Turkey go into states of ecstasy, a young biker experiences thrill doing the wheelie, sky diving is great fun for some, and others find bungy jumping super exciting.

Games of chance – dice, cards, bingo – are enjoyable because they give the illusion of controlling the inscrutable future.

Dancers wearing the masks of their Gods feel a sense of powerful identification with the forces that rule the universe. Activities in which alternative realities are created – dance, theatre, performing arts – turn out to be deeply engrossing for the participants as well as the spectators.

Csikszentmihalyi found that every flow activity, whether it involved competition, chance, or any other dimension of experience, had this in common: It provided a sense of discovery, a creative feeling of transporting the person into a new reality.

It pushed the person to higher levels of performance and led to previously undreamed-of states of consciousness. In this growth of the self lies the key to flow activities.

PEARLS OF WISDOM

Happiness is not something that happens. It is not the result of good fortune or random chance. It is not something that money can buy or power command. It does not depend on outside events, but rather on how we interpret them. Happiness, in fact, is a condition that must be prepared for, cultivated, and defended privately by each person. People who learn to control inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is as close as any one of us can come to being happy.

The best moments in our lives are not passive, receptive, relaxing times. The best moments usually occur when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. Optimal experience is thus something that we make happen.

-Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately happy. What a man can be, he must be. This need we may call self-actualization.

-Abraham Maslow

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

What is an autotelic experience?

An optimal experience is essentially an end in itself. Even if initially undertaken for other reasons, the activity that consumes us becomes intrinsically rewarding. Some surgeons speak of their work, “It is so enjoyable that I would do it even if I didn’t have to.”

“Autotelic” is made up from two Greek words, auto meaning self, and telos meaning goal. It refers to a self-contained activity that is done not with the expectation of some future benefit. But simply because doing itself is the reward. For example, teaching children to turn them into good citizens is not autotelic, but teaching them because one enjoys interacting with children is.

Csikszentmihalyi feels, “The autotelic experience, or flow, lifts the course of life to a different level. Alienation gives way to involvement, enjoyment replaces boredom, helplessness turns into a feeling of control, and psychic energy works to reinforce the sense of self, instead of being lost in the service of external goals.

“When the experience is intrinsically rewarding, life is justified in the present, instead of being held hostage to a hypothetical future gain.”

What is Vital Engagement?

Vital engagement is a relationship to the world that is characterized both by experiences of flow (enjoyed absorption) and by meaning (subjective significance). It is the end state of the deepening process of flow.

A writer is ‘swept away’ by a project, a scientist is ‘mesmerized by the stars’.  The relationship has subjective meaning: work is a ‘calling’. There is a strong felt connection between self and object. We call this vital engagement.

REFERENCE BOOK

FLOW: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

“Successful painters, dancers, poets, novelists, physicists, biologists, and psychologists seem to have crafted lives for themselves around a consuming passion. These are admirable lives, desirable lives, the sort that many young people dream of having when they look to these people as role models.”

-Jonathan Haidt

A Brief Description of the Book:

LEARN PRACTICES TO FIND MEANING, PEACE AND WELL-BEING

You can change your life if you have the right understanding and adopt proven practices for creating happiness. This is a comprehensive guide on the art of living and the science of being, based on years of study and practical sessions. It includes a step-by-step guide to twelve sets of exercises and a treasure trove of timeless wisdom.

The book is a unique confluence of positive psychology, laughter yoga, yoga, meditation, and spirituality. It is the right place for beginners to take the first steps and for the advanced learners to add more skills to their repertoire. You will experience cheerful health, authentic happiness, and everlasting peace once you adopt these practices.

(This book is available on Amazon in paperback and kindle formats.)

©  Jagat Singh Bisht