English Literature – Weekly Column ☆ Witful Warmth#1 – Satire – The Saga of the Bulging Belly ☆ Dr. Suresh Kumar Mishra ‘Uratript’ ☆
Dr. Suresh Kumar Mishra ‘Uratript’
Dr. Suresh Kumar Mishra, known for his wit and wisdom, is a prolific writer, renowned satirist, children’s literature author, and poet. He has undertaken the monumental task of writing, editing, and coordinating a total of 55 books for the Telangana government at the primary school, college, and university levels. His editorial endeavors also include online editions of works by Acharya Ramchandra Shukla.
As a celebrated satirist, Dr. Suresh Kumar Mishra has carved a niche for himself, with over eight million viewers, readers, and listeners tuning in to his literary musings on the demise of a teacher on the Sahitya AajTak channel. His contributions have earned him prestigious accolades such as the Telangana Hindi Academy’s Shreshtha Navyuva Rachnakaar Samman in 2021, presented by the honorable Chief Minister of Telangana, Mr. Chandrashekhar Rao. He has also been honored with the Vyangya Yatra Ravindranath Tyagi Stairway Award and the Sahitya Srijan Samman, alongside recognition from Prime Minister Narendra Modi and various other esteemed institutions.
Dr. Suresh Kumar Mishra’s journey is not merely one of literary accomplishments but also a testament to his unwavering dedication, creativity, and profound impact on society. His story inspires us to strive for excellence, to use our talents for the betterment of others, and to leave an indelible mark on the world. Today we present his satireThe Saga of the Bulging Belly.
☆ Satire ☆ The Saga of the Bulging Belly ☆ Dr. Suresh Kumar Mishra ‘Uratript’ ☆
I’m neither Akash Ambani nor someone with a hefty salary. I’m just a chubby. Pure as a hundred-carat gold, but also a hundred percent pure fat chubby. Living as a chubby is quite challenging. But being a big brother is an even bigger thought. When girls see chubby folks like me, they think we prefer food over true love. Maybe that’s why they quickly label us “bhaiya” (brother). But do they know that even chubbies have a heart, and dreams of love too? It makes me wonder if the idea of being a brother might become permanent. Don’t I have the right to love too? I’m saying all this because I’m quite chubby. Chubbies understand the struggles of chubbies. Just like Mahatma Gandhi is the father of the nation, similarly, every chubby guy becomes a big brother for girls all over the country.
Who knows why girls call me “bhaiya” as soon as they see me. Don’t they realize I have feelings too? I also desire to love. Ever since I heard the phrase “like a melon changing its color after seeing a melon,” girls, even older women, advise me to sit far away, calling me “bhaiya.” It feels like they see chubby guys and suddenly transform into scriptures, recognizing a robust youth and starting to preach respect worldwide. My situation worsens when elderly women, whose hair has turned white with age, start to flutter, and they too don’t hesitate to call me “bhaiya.” I felt like calling them “mom,” but I wasn’t as open-minded as them.
Chubby guys like me have a favorite dress. One, because companies don’t make dresses for chubbies. They neither have a color choice nor a design. Sometimes it feels like I should set these companies on fire. Then I think, who will be left to give away even one dress if I do that? Describing the pain of buying clothes at a shopping mall is difficult. The salesmen, eagerly waiting to make a deal or cracking some other risky joke, ask, “Sir, what size jeans should I show you? 32, 34, or slim fit?” Now, how do I tell him that no dress is made for chubbies under the name of “slim”? Then, tiredly, they hand over a 44-size tent-like outfit to me, sticking some English name on it. It’s strange for chubby guys like us to go shopping for clothes, and no extraordinary thought can explain it.
All this happens because of three shops next to the shopping mall. Whenever I come here, I never forget to visit these three shops. The name of the first shop is Hungry Grills, the second is Bhola Nath Chaat Bhandar, and the third is Delicious Ice Cream. Before coming here, I reduce my belly by two to three inches and then increase it as much after leaving. It’s not that I don’t keep track of anyone. After paying off the gyms, there is a sense of peace by visiting these shops. This shopping mall is not just a favorite place for chubby guys like me but can also be seen as a revolutionary place – ‘Shopping Gym.’ Yes, you heard it right, gym. Along with shopping, you also get delicious dishes here to exercise your taste buds. Instead of working out in the gym, you can enhance your eating skills here. Thanks to this revolutionary discovery of the shopping mall, I become a connoisseur of enjoying every moment of my chubby life instead of getting lost in the crowd of shops.
People think that chubby boys only have trouble finding clothes. When they step into a clothing store, it’s like a dangerous jungle safari for them, where every outfit threatens to shatter their self-esteem into thousands of pieces. Chubby boys are constantly under the scrutiny of society, where this chubby tale becomes a topic of discussion for the common people. People feel entitled to give free advice based on our eating habits, exercise styles, and sitting-standing criteria. And on top of that, they have endless sarcastic remarks like, “You have such a chubby face, if you lose a little weight.” In a world that worships the temple of thinness, chubby people have to create their own space.
© Dr. Suresh Kumar Mishra ‘Uratript’
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