Dr. Suresh Kumar Mishra ‘Uratript’
Dr. Suresh Kumar Mishra, known for his wit and wisdom, is a prolific writer, renowned satirist, children’s literature author, and poet. He has undertaken the monumental task of writing, editing, and coordinating a total of 55 books for the Telangana government at the primary school, college, and university levels. His editorial endeavors also include online editions of works by Acharya Ramchandra Shukla.
As a celebrated satirist, Dr. Suresh Kumar Mishra has carved a niche for himself, with over eight million viewers, readers, and listeners tuning in to his literary musings on the demise of a teacher on the Sahitya AajTak channel. His contributions have earned him prestigious accolades such as the Telangana Hindi Academy’s Shreshtha Navyuva Rachnakaar Samman in 2021, presented by the honorable Chief Minister of Telangana, Mr. Chandrashekhar Rao. He has also been honored with the Vyangya Yatra Ravindranath Tyagi Stairway Award and the Sahitya Srijan Samman, alongside recognition from Prime Minister Narendra Modi and various other esteemed institutions.
Dr. Suresh Kumar Mishra’s journey is not merely one of literary accomplishments but also a testament to his unwavering dedication, creativity, and profound impact on society. His story inspires us to strive for excellence, to use our talents for the betterment of others, and to leave an indelible mark on the world.
Some precious moments of life
- Honoured with ‘Shrestha Navayuvva Rachnakar Samman’ by former Chief Minister of Telangana Government, Shri K. Chandrasekhar Rao.
- Honoured with Oscar, Grammy, Jnanpith, Sahitya Akademi, Dadasaheb Phalke, Padma Bhushan and many other awards by the most revered Gulzar sahab (Sampurn Singh Kalra), the lighthouse of the world of literature and cinema, during the Sahitya Suman Samman held in Mumbai.
- Meeting the famous litterateur Shri Vinod Kumar Shukla Ji, honoured with Jnanpith Award.
- Got the privilege of meeting Mr. Perfectionist of Bollywood, actor Aamir Khan.
- Meeting the powerful actor Vicky Kaushal on the occasion of being honoured by Vishva Katha Rangmanch.
Today we present his satire Kismatchand and the Bureaucratic Beast.
☆ Witful Warmth# 56 ☆
☆ Satire ☆ Kismatchand and the Bureaucratic Beast… ☆ Dr. Suresh Kumar Mishra ‘Uratript’ ☆
In days of yore, when kings held sway and slaves were but their chattels, so too existed in this modern age of liberty, souls truly enslaved by the ‘System,’ their lives no less burdened than those in chains. Among these ‘System-afflicted’ stood our very own Mr. Kismatchand. His existence, alas, was no different from that of a ‘circus lion,’ condemned to dance daily within the confines of its cage, at the mere flick of a trainer’s whip. Rise with the sun, trudge to the office, lose oneself in a labyrinth of papers, and return home, weary and spent, as dusk descended. This was his daily ‘act.’ His ‘freedom,’ such as it was, extended only to choosing which queue to join for bill payments, or before which petty clerk to grovel. The ‘tyranny’ he endured was not trifling. One day, an exorbitant electricity bill would arrive; the next, the water meter would spin with unprecedented zeal; and then, in the hallowed halls of government offices, demands for ‘pure ghee’ would arise under the guise of ‘tea and refreshments.’ Kismatchand’s very being was tormented by this ‘System.’ One day, however, the cup of his endurance overflowed. The public tap in his neighbourhood ceased its flow, and when he ventured forth to complain, the clerk regarded him as if he sought not water, but the moon and stars themselves. It was then, in that very moment, that Kismatchand resolved, “Enough of this deference! I shall seek refuge in the ‘jungle’!” His ‘jungle’ was that desolate patch of land beyond the city’s sprawl, where no government office stood, no clerk held court, naught but dust and silence reigned. He imagined, at the very least, no ‘System’ would exist there, no ‘mechanism’ to measure his every breath. He fled, yes, truly fled, like a ‘liberated bird’ from its cage, little knowing that even ‘jungles’ had, by then, become ‘governmental property.’
Upon reaching that ‘wilderness,’ which he, in his innocence, deemed a ‘jungle,’ Kismatchand discovered a ‘lion’ already in residence. This was no ordinary beast, but a ‘Bureaucratic Beast’ – a colossal, decrepit, and dust-laden ‘government department’ office, its roof perpetually leaking, its walls stained with the indelible marks of ‘bribes.’ This ‘Beast’ lay gasping its last, for ‘files’ were ensnared in its claws, and the ‘red tape’ had tightened its grip around its very throat. The ‘Bureaucratic Beast’ repeatedly lifted its ‘paw,’ as if pleading, “Would someone, for pity’s sake, advance my ‘file’!” Kismatchand, at first, was seized by fear. “Good heavens!” he thought, “A ‘Bureaucratic Beast’ even here?” But then, a ‘peculiar compassion’ stirred within him. “Well,” he mused, “at least this ‘Beast’ isn’t hungry; its ‘stomach’ is merely bloated with ‘papers.'” He cautiously approached the ‘Beast.’ In the Beast’s ‘paw’ was not a ‘thorn,’ but a ‘thick file of scandal,’ which no one dared to touch. Kismatchand pondered, “Perhaps, if I assist it, it might not devour me, but rather bestow upon me a ‘government post’!” He summoned his courage and attempted to extricate that ‘scandalous file.’ The file was so ancient that a cloud of dust erupted upon contact. He dusted it, wiped it, and somehow undertook the daunting task of conveying it to the ‘correct desk.’ This was no trifling endeavour, for upon every desk, ‘serpents of red tape’ lay coiled, ready to strike.
Kismatchand commenced the arduous task of tending to this ‘Bureaucratic Beast.’ This ‘tending’ entailed conveying that ‘scandalous file’ from one desk to another, offering ‘tea and refreshments’ to every clerk, and bowing in ‘servile deference’ before every ‘officer.’ For many days, he strove to keep that ‘file’ alive, much like a ‘physician’ attending to a ‘dying patient.’ At times, he would ‘deposit’ the ‘file’ in the ‘registry,’ and at others, he would ‘resuscitate’ it in the ‘dispatch section.’ Through this ‘care,’ the ‘Bureaucratic Beast’ found a measure of ‘respite.’ That ‘file,’ which had languished for years, advanced by a mere ‘inch’! This, for the ‘Bureaucratic Beast,’ was nothing short of a ‘miracle.’ In ‘gratitude,’ the ‘Bureaucratic Beast’ began to ‘lick Kismatchand’s hand.’ This ‘hand-licking’ signified that Kismatchand had received a ‘small receipt,’ upon which was inscribed, “Your complaint shall be considered.” This receipt, to him, was worth more than a ‘Nobel Prize.’ Then, the ‘Bureaucratic Beast’ quietly retreated into its ‘lair,’ meaning that the ‘file’ once again vanished into some ‘dark corner,’ but Kismatchand, at least, possessed a ‘receipt’! He thought, “Hark! At long last, I have accomplished a ‘government task,’ however trivial!” His chest swelled with pride, as if he had conquered some formidable ‘Everest.’
Meanwhile, the ‘soldiers’ of ‘His Excellency, the Honourable ‘Development Man” – that is to say, the ‘clerks’ of the ‘Vigilance Department’ and the ‘vultures of the media’ – were in hot pursuit of Kismatchand. For Kismatchand had dared to ‘rectify’ the ‘Bureaucratic Beast’s’ ‘file’ through ‘improper means,’ and this, for the ‘System,’ was an ‘unpardonable offence.’ To attempt to ‘correct’ the ‘System’ was, in itself, a violation of the ‘System’s’ very rules! At last, one day, Kismatchand was apprehended. He was brought before ‘His Excellency, the Honourable ‘Development Man’.’ The ‘Development Man’ was exceedingly displeased. Lines of ‘fury,’ rather than ‘development,’ furrowed his brow. He thundered, “Cast this ‘System-breaker’ before the ‘hungry lion’!” This ‘hungry lion’ was none other than the ‘court of public opinion,’ where ‘media trials’ were conducted and ‘memes’ were spawned on ‘social media.’ This ‘lion’ was hungry because it craved a ‘new prey’ each day, a ‘new issue’ upon which to sink its ‘fangs.’ Kismatchand thought, “Alas! I merely advanced a ‘file,’ and now my own ‘file’ is to be closed!” He began to regret his ‘compassion.’ He lamented, “Would that I had left that ‘Bureaucratic Beast’ to its own devices; then, I would not face this grim day!”
On the day Kismatchand was to be cast before the ‘hungry lion,’ the entire ‘populace’ of ‘Rome’ – meaning the city’s ‘largest auditorium’ – had gathered. This ‘populace’ comprised ‘media persons,’ ‘social media influencers,’ and sundry ‘idle folk’ who sought a ‘free spectacle.’ Before all, Kismatchand was thrown into the ‘cage’ of the ‘hungry lion.’ The ‘cage’ was none other than the encirclement of ‘media cameras,’ and the ‘hungry lion’ was the ‘public’s wrath,’ which the ‘media’ had assiduously fanned. Kismatchand trembled with fear. He saw not ‘death,’ but ‘disgrace’ staring him in the face. He thought, “Alas, my ‘reputation’ is about to be ‘cremated’!” He began to invoke ‘God,’ and simultaneously, all those ‘clerks’ and ‘officers’ who had ‘stalled’ his ‘file.’ The ‘lion’ – that is to say, the ‘media’ – advanced towards Kismatchand. ‘Cameras’ zoomed in on him, ‘microphones’ were thrust before his mouth, and ‘reporters’ posed questions as if he were some ‘international criminal.’ Kismatchand was drenched in perspiration. In his terror, he squeezed his eyes shut. But what was this? Instead of ‘devouring’ Kismatchand, the ‘lion’ – that is to say, the ‘media’ – began to ‘lick his hand.’ This ‘hand-licking’ signified that an ‘old reporter,’ who once hailed from Kismatchand’s ‘neighbourhood,’ had recognized him and, removing his ‘microphone,’ whispered, “Kismatchand! Is that truly you? You were the one who advanced that ‘government department’s’ ‘file,’ which had stalled my ‘pension’!” The Emperor was astonished, the entire populace was astonished, and Kismatchand himself was equally so.
At length, Kismatchand comprehended that, surely, this was none other than the very ‘Bureaucratic Beast’ whose ‘ailing state’ he had ‘tended.’ That ‘old reporter’ from the ‘media’ was, in fact, a ‘representative’ of that very ‘government department’ whose ‘file’ Kismatchand had advanced. He had recognized Kismatchand because the advancement of that ‘single file’ had led to the approval of the reporter’s ‘pension.’ He, too, began to ‘caress’ Kismatchand and ‘pat his back,’ meaning he began to ‘praise’ Kismatchand on ‘live telecast.’ He declared, “This is the man who endeavoured to ‘correct’ the ‘System,’ while the ‘System’ itself seeks to brand him ‘wrong’!” Witnessing this, ‘His Excellency, the Honourable ‘Development Man” commanded his ‘soldiers’ to remove Kismatchand from the ‘cage.’ The ‘Development Man’ mused, “Ah! This is ‘positive publicity’! Let us capitalize on it!” He inquired of Kismatchand, “What did you do that the ‘lion’ – that is to say, the ‘media’ – instead of ‘devouring’ you, began to ‘lick your hand’?” The ‘Development Man’s’ face now bore a ‘smile’ instead of ‘fury,’ for elections loomed, and a ‘positive image’ was paramount. Kismatchand recounted the ‘jungle incident’ and pleaded, “Your Excellency, when the ‘Bureaucratic Beast’ – that is to say, that ‘department’ – was ‘ailing,’ I tended to it for but a few days. Because of this ‘benevolence,’ it did not ‘devour’ me, but rather ‘praised’ me. Yet, I have served your ‘System’ for years, paid my ‘taxes,’ abided by your ‘rules,’ and despite all this, you sought to take my ‘life’!”
‘His Excellency, the Honourable ‘Development Man”s ‘heart softened.’ His ‘heart,’ being made of paper, had become somewhat pliable in the downpour of ‘publicity.’ He ‘freed’ Kismatchand and also ‘released’ the ‘Bureaucratic Beast’ – that is to say, that ‘department’ – into the ‘jungle.’ This ‘freedom’ meant that Kismatchand did not regain his ‘old job,’ but was instead appointed an ‘honorary member’ of the ‘System Reform Committee.’ ‘Honorary’ meant ‘without remuneration,’ implying that he would now ‘reform the System’ for ‘free’! And ‘releasing the Bureaucratic Beast into the jungle’ meant that the ‘department’ was ‘closed down,’ for it had been operating at a ‘loss.’ Kismatchand thought, “Hark! The very ‘Beast’ I ‘cured’ has been ‘closed down’! What became of my efforts?” Tears welled in his eyes. He had gained ‘freedom,’ but that ‘freedom’ was akin to an ’empty cage.’ He lamented, “Would that I had remained a slave; at least then, I would have had ‘bread’!” The ‘Development Man’ patted him on the back and declared, “Go forth, Kismatchand, from this day, you are ‘free’! And remember, continue to ‘contribute’ to ‘System reform’!” Kismatchand observed that the ‘Bureaucratic Beast’s’ ‘office’ had now transformed into a ‘ruin.’ His ‘efforts’ had turned to dust.
Kismatchand was now ‘free,’ yet his ‘freedom’ was akin to that of an ‘orphan child,’ burdened with ‘responsibility’ but devoid of ‘support.’ He attended meetings of the ‘System Reform Committee,’ where, besides ‘tea and biscuits,’ nothing of substance was ever gained. His ‘positive publicity,’ too, soon became ‘old news.’ No longer was he hailed as a ‘hero,’ but rather dismissed as a ‘useless social worker.’ He gazed upon the ‘ruins’ of that ‘Bureaucratic Beast,’ where once he had advanced a ‘file.’ He recalled how that ‘Beast’ had, in ‘gratitude,’ ‘licked his hand.’ Today, that ‘hand’ was empty, and in his ‘heart’ lay a ‘deep wound.’ He lamented, “I performed a ‘good deed,’ and in ‘return,’ I received ‘unemployment’! I hoped for ‘gratitude,’ and in ‘return,’ I received ‘mockery’!” Tears streamed from his eyes, but these were not tears of ‘sorrow,’ but of ‘satire.’ He regretted why he had committed the ‘sin’ of ‘reforming’ the ‘System.’ The ‘System’ had ‘freed’ him, but the price of ‘freedom’ was so ‘exorbitant’ that he could not ‘pay’ it. A ‘sigh’ escaped him, “Would that I had remained in that ‘jungle,’ where at least the ‘lion’ was ‘real,’ not ‘bureaucratic’!” This ‘tale’ teaches us that ‘compassion’ is a noble quality, but in the ‘governmental system,’ the ‘fruits’ of ‘compassion’ are often ‘bitter.’ And ‘gratitude’? Alas, it languishes, gathering ‘dust’ in ‘government files,’ until some ‘new scandal’ deigns to ‘unearth’ it. Kismatchand was now ‘free,’ but ‘freedom’ had left him more ‘alone’ than any ‘cage.’ His ‘story’ still echoes through the ‘corridors’ of the ‘System’ today, a ‘poignant satire.’
****
© Dr. Suresh Kumar Mishra ‘Uratript’
Contact : Mo. +91 73 8657 8657, Email : drskm786@gmail.com
≈ Blog Editor – Shri Hemant Bawankar/Editor (English) – Captain Pravin Raghuvanshi, NM ≈
