Dr. Suresh Kumar Mishra ‘Uratript’
Dr. Suresh Kumar Mishra, known for his wit and wisdom, is a prolific writer, renowned satirist, children’s literature author, and poet. He has undertaken the monumental task of writing, editing, and coordinating a total of 55 books for the Telangana government at the primary school, college, and university levels. His editorial endeavors also include online editions of works by Acharya Ramchandra Shukla.
As a celebrated satirist, Dr. Suresh Kumar Mishra has carved a niche for himself, with over eight million viewers, readers, and listeners tuning in to his literary musings on the demise of a teacher on the Sahitya AajTak channel. His contributions have earned him prestigious accolades such as the Telangana Hindi Academy’s Shreshtha Navyuva Rachnakaar Samman in 2021, presented by the honorable Chief Minister of Telangana, Mr. Chandrashekhar Rao. He has also been honored with the Vyangya Yatra Ravindranath Tyagi Stairway Award and the Sahitya Srijan Samman, alongside recognition from Prime Minister Narendra Modi and various other esteemed institutions.
Dr. Suresh Kumar Mishra’s journey is not merely one of literary accomplishments but also a testament to his unwavering dedication, creativity, and profound impact on society. His story inspires us to strive for excellence, to use our talents for the betterment of others, and to leave an indelible mark on the world.
Some precious moments of life
- Honoured with ‘Shrestha Navayuvva Rachnakar Samman’ by former Chief Minister of Telangana Government, Shri K. Chandrasekhar Rao.
- Honoured with Oscar, Grammy, Jnanpith, Sahitya Akademi, Dadasaheb Phalke, Padma Bhushan and many other awards by the most revered Gulzar sahab (Sampurn Singh Kalra), the lighthouse of the world of literature and cinema, during the Sahitya Suman Samman held in Mumbai.
- Meeting the famous litterateur Shri Vinod Kumar Shukla Ji, honoured with Jnanpith Award.
- Got the privilege of meeting Mr. Perfectionist of Bollywood, actor Aamir Khan.
- Meeting the powerful actor Vicky Kaushal on the occasion of being honoured by Vishva Katha Rangmanch.
Today we present his Satire – The Epic Saga of Kevin and Brianna: A Very Mature Relationship.
☆ Witful Warmth# 70 ☆
☆ Satire ☆ The Epic Saga of Kevin and Brianna: A Very Mature Relationship… ☆ Dr. Suresh Kumar Mishra ‘Uratript’ ☆
Once upon a time in the kingdom of the Seventh Grade Hallway, there was a boy named Kevin who wore a hoodie even when it was ninety degrees outside because it made him look mysterious like a vampire from a movie his mom wouldn’t let him watch. Kevin was deeply in love with Brianna, who sat three rows away in Pre-Algebra and smelled like strawberry lip gloss and extreme focus. Their love was very complicated because Kevin had once accidentally liked a photo Brianna posted three years ago of her pet hamster, and according to the laws of the cafeteria, this meant they were basically married. Kevin spent most of his time staring at the back of Brianna’s head and wondering if the way she tied her ponytail meant she was thinking about him, or if she was just trying to keep her hair out of her glue stick. It was a soulful, silent connection that involved a lot of looking at the floor whenever they passed each other near the water fountain, which is the most romantic thing a person can do besides giving someone half of a fruit leather.
The climax of their romance happened during the Tuesday assembly about not eating Tide Pods, where Kevin finally gathered the courage to send a highly classified carrier pigeon, also known as a folded-up piece of notebook paper, across the bleachers. The note had two boxes: “Yes” and “No,” because “Maybe” is for people who aren’t ready for a serious commitment. Brianna received the note while her friends giggled so loud the gym teacher had to blow his whistle three times. She checked “Yes” with a purple glitter pen that had a fuzzy pom-pom on top, signifying that their souls were now bonded until at least Friday. For the next forty-eight hours, their relationship was a whirlwind of activity, which mostly consisted of sending the “eyes” emoji back and forth on Roblox and changing their social media bios to include each other’s initials surrounded by many conflicting sparkles and lightning bolts. They were an unstoppable power couple, right up there with PB&J or people who have matching hydroflasks.
However, the dark clouds of tragedy began to gather on Thursday during lunch period when Kevin was seen sharing a single Flamin’ Hot Cheeto with a girl named Sarah from the band elective. Word traveled through the school at the speed of light, or at least at the speed of the group chat, which is much faster. By the time Kevin reached his locker, he had been “canceled” by three different social circles he didn’t even know he belonged to. Brianna was devastated and spent the entirety of Social Studies drawing dark, jagged hearts in the margins of her notes about the Industrial Revolution, realizing that men were all the same, especially the ones who wore AXE Body Spray. She decided that Kevin was “mid” anyway and that she needed to focus on her career as a professional TikTok dancer who also rescues poodles. The betrayal was so deep that she even considered giving back the mechanical pencil lead he had lent her on Monday, but she decided to keep it as a trophy of her survival in the cutthroat world of middle school dating.
The breakup was officially finalized when Brianna’s best friend, Kaylee, walked up to Kevin during passing period and told him that Brianna said he was “clapping” which Kevin didn’t understand but knew was an insult because Kaylee said it while making a very mean face. Kevin tried to explain that the Cheeto incident was a total misunderstanding—Sarah just had low blood sugar and he was being a hero—but the gates of the heart had already been slammed shut and padlocked with a combination he didn’t know. He went home and listened to a song that sounded like a robot crying in a bathtub, feeling like an old man of thirteen who had seen too much of the world’s cruelty. He deleted the lightning bolts from his bio and replaced them with a single black umbrella emoji, which is the international symbol for “I am a lone wolf who is too deep for your drama.” His mom asked if he wanted a grilled cheese, but he just sighed and said she wouldn’t understand his pain, even though the grilled cheese smelled really good.
By the following Monday, the great Kevin and Brianna era was a distant memory, much like the fidget spinner craze of years past. Brianna was now “talking” to a guy in ninth grade who had a mustache that looked like a faint smudge of dirt, which made him practically a grown adult with a mortgage. Kevin had moved on to a new passion, which was trying to see how many grapes he could fit in his mouth at once during the bus ride home. They passed each other in the hall and didn’t even look at the floor; they just looked at their phones, which is the ultimate sign of being over someone. The cycle of life continued in the hallways, with new notes being folded and new Cheetos being shared, as a fresh crop of sixth graders prepared to enter the battlefield of love. It was a beautiful, tragic, and very loud circle of life, fueled by Gatorade and the hope that someday, someone would finally check the “Yes” box and mean it for more than a week.
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© Dr. Suresh Kumar Mishra ‘Uratript’
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≈ Blog Editor – Shri Hemant Bawankar/Editor (English) – Captain Pravin Raghuvanshi, NM ≈
