Authored six books on happiness: Cultivating Happiness, Nirvana – The Highest Happiness, Meditate Like the Buddha, Mission Happiness, A Flourishing Life, and The Little Book of Happiness. He served in a bank for thirty-five years and has been propagating happiness and well-being among people for the past twenty years. He is on a mission – Mission Happiness!
🌻Buddham Saranam Gachhami: My Slightly Wobbly, Wildly Wonderful Walk to the Dhamma🌻
You know, when people talk about a “spiritual awakening,” they often speak in the tone one uses while describing a Himalayan sunrise—golden light, misty mountains, soul-stirring violins in the background. Not me. My spiritual journey didn’t begin with a flash of inner illumination. It began, quite unromantically, with a thud—on the hard bedrock of disappointment, loneliness, confusion, and a sincere inability to make sense of a world where phone batteries die faster than friendships.
There I was, wobbling through life like a three-legged table, hoping to find something—anything—that might fix the wonky legs. The quest began with a certain desperation, a deep-seated sense that there must be more to life than emails, EMIs, and existential dread.
Once I recognised that I needed a spiritual path, I entered the curious spiritual supermarket. Shelves lined with teachings, masters, promises of bliss, chants, beads, bells, retreats, and recipes for “instant peace” (just add silence and stir). It was dazzling—and utterly disorienting.
So, like any confused consumer with a shopping basket of hopes, I chose the most popular route: the eclectic combo-platter.
A little of this, a little of that.
Buddhist mindfulness in the morning (with green tea).
Hindu mantra recitations in the afternoon (with incense).
Christian prayer in the evening (with a whiff of grace).
Sufi whirling on Sundays (with mild dizziness).
Kabbalistic meditations and Tibetan visualisations on alternate days.
It was a potpourri of paths, a spiritual salad.
Delightful? Yes.
Deep? Not quite.
It felt like I was hopping across stepping stones, never resting long enough to absorb the wisdom underfoot. A fine halfway house, yes—but a house doesn’t become a home until you stop wandering.
And then, on a quiet afternoon (perhaps the incense was working overtime), I stumbled upon a verse from the Dhammapada. Just four plain lines—no special effects, no thunderclaps. But something clicked.
“Abstain from all unwholesome deeds,
Perform wholesome ones,
Purify your mind—
This is the teaching of the Buddhas.”
No frills. No philosophies tangled in metaphors. Just the distilled clarity of a mind that had seen through everything.
It struck me—not with fireworks, but with the calm finality of truth. This was not another item on the buffet. This was the recipe. Three ingredients:
Don’t be a nuisance.
Try to be kind.
Clean up the mental mess.
Simple. Terrifyingly so. No rituals, no robes, no rituals wrapped in robes. Just direct instructions, like a cosmic Post-it note stuck to your forehead.
And something in me responded. The noise settled. The inner traffic jam eased. And from somewhere deep inside, a soft voice rose:
“Buddham saranam gachhami…”
I go to the Buddha for refuge.
Not as a tourist. Not as a dilettante. But as someone who’s finally stopped looking for shortcuts.
The Buddha didn’t promise a quick fix. He offered something better: a clear path, trodden by the wise, free of gimmicks and glitter, where joy lies not in the arrival but in the journey itself—when walked with mindfulness, compassion, and the courage to look inward.
And so here I am. Not floating in bliss. Not enlightened (yet). But walking—with fewer detours, a lighter backpack, and a heart that hums a little more gently with each step.
Dhamma, it turns out, isn’t just a philosophy. It’s a way to live, a way to smile, and—on most days—a way to stay sane in an increasingly insane world.
A Pathway to Authentic Happiness, Well-Being & A Fulfilling Life! We teach skills to lead a healthy, happy and meaningful life.
The Science of Happiness (Positive Psychology), Meditation, Yoga, Spirituality and Laughter Yoga. We conduct talks, seminars, workshops, retreats and training.
Authored six books on happiness: Cultivating Happiness, Nirvana – The Highest Happiness, Meditate Like the Buddha, Mission Happiness, A Flourishing Life, and The Little Book of Happiness. He served in a bank for thirty-five years and has been propagating happiness and well-being among people for the past twenty years. He is on a mission – Mission Happiness!
🌌 Wandering the Thirty-One Worlds 🌌
Some people dream of visiting Paris, sipping espresso on a cobblestoned street. Others yearn for space tourism—bouncing weightless in a tin can, peering down at Earth. Me? I find myself daydreaming about the Thirty-one Planes of Existence described in Buddhist cosmology.
Yes, thirty-one! A rather crowded universe, isn’t it?
Now, I’ve never been to the upper heavens or the lower hells (that I recall, at least). But I’m quite delighted to be here—right in the Human World, comfortably placed at number five from the bottom. Not very glamorous, I know. But make no mistake, this is the sweet spot of the cosmos.
Down below us are some truly unfortunate neighbourhoods—the four states of woe—populated by suffering beings: hell-dwellers, hungry ghosts, jealous titans, and the animal realm. Above us lie the pleasure gardens of six sensuous heavens, overflowing with divine delights and carefree abandon.
Sounds tempting? Perhaps. But here’s the paradox of cosmic real estate: suffering makes you strive, and too much pleasure makes you… well, lazy. And striving, in the spiritual sense, is the only way out of this grand, glittering trap called samsāra—the endless merry-go-round of birth, death, and rebirth.
We humans, blessed with just enough pain to awaken us, and just enough joy to keep us from despairing, occupy a rare and precious junction. It’s the Goldilocks zone of the Buddhist cosmos—not too miserable, not too blissful—just right for the uphill climb to liberation.
Above us stretch the heavens of form and formlessness—realms of sublime meditative absorption, breathtaking in their refinement. But alas, they too are temporary. No matter how high you rise in samsāra, gravity pulls you back. The only true escape? Nibbāna—the supramundane, the unconditioned, the other shore. A place that is not a place, a silence beyond sound, a peace beyond understanding.
I sometimes catch myself fantasising—not about retirement in Goa or a cottage in the Himalayas—but about travelling across these thirty-one abodes. No visa required. No rocket ships. Just meditative calm and inner stillness. For in meditation, I find that the borders between realms begin to blur. I can wander, wonder, soar or sink—all within this tender, mysterious human form.
It is said that all these worlds are in eternal flux—rising, collapsing, reforming like soap bubbles on the sea of time. But right now, this bubble of human life is floating, and I’m marvelling at its shimmer.
Some seek heaven, some fear hell, but I, dear reader, am deeply content here and now, sipping the subtle tea of mindfulness, dreaming big, breathing gently—and whispering to myself with a smile,
A Pathway to Authentic Happiness, Well-Being & A Fulfilling Life! We teach skills to lead a healthy, happy and meaningful life.
The Science of Happiness (Positive Psychology), Meditation, Yoga, Spirituality and Laughter Yoga. We conduct talks, seminars, workshops, retreats and training.
Authored six books on happiness:Cultivating Happiness, Nirvana – The Highest Happiness, Meditate Like the Buddha, Mission Happiness, A Flourishing Life, and The Little Book of Happiness. He served in a bank for thirty-five years and has been propagating happiness and well-being among people for the past twenty years. He is on a mission – Mission Happiness!
☆ # 06: Effortless practices for Happiness and Stress Management ☆
FLOURISH, DO NOT LANGUISH
“We can all say “yes” to more positive emotion. We can all say “yes” to more engagement. We can all say “yes” to better relationships. We can all say “yes” to more meaning in life. We can all say “yes” to more positive accomplishment. We can all say “yes” to more well-being.”
Martin Seligman
People flourish when they experience a balance of positive emotions, engagement with the world, good relationships with others, a sense of meaning and moral purpose, and the accomplishment of valued goals.
Flourishing is the experience of life going well – a combination of feeling good and functioning effectively. It is the opposite of languishing – living a life that feels hollow and empty.
If you have experienced the positive emotions of gratitude, forgiveness, contentment, mindfulness, hope, and optimism, you are closer to flourishing than a person who has just enjoyed the fleeting pleasures of life.
Flourishing is not just a simple measure of happiness or life satisfaction or positive thinking. It is a state where people experience positive emotions, positive psychological functioning, and positive social functioning, most of the time.
Positive relationships are at the core of a flourishing life. The richest source of happiness in life are other people. If we could build good relationships with them, we would be much happier.
You can be happier if you cultivate good relationships with your family, friends and even strangers whom you meet in your day-to-day life. A warm greeting, an authentic conversation and a goodbye full of loving care can work wonders.
Happy people are good at their friendships, families, and intimate relationships.
EXERCISE
What went well?
Each night before going to sleep, write down three things that went well during the day, that made you happy or things for which you are grateful.
These may be small things or important ones.
Doing this exercise regularly can help you appreciate the positive in your life rather than take it for granted.
You can do this exercise on our own or with a loved one – a partner, child, parent, sibling, or close friend.
Expressing gratitude together can contribute in a meaningful way to the relationship.
You will be less depressed and feel happier.
VIRTUES AND STRENGTHS
Almost all traditions and cultures across the globe endorse six virtues – wisdom and knowledge, courage, love and humanity, justice, temperance, and spirituality and transcendence. There are several distinct routes – the strengths of character – to each of these virtues.
Curiosity or interest in the world, love of learning, judgement, critical thinking, open-mindedness, ingenuity, originality, practical intelligence, street smarts, social intelligence, personal intelligence, emotional intelligence, and perspective are routes to the virtue cluster of wisdom and intelligence.
Valour, bravery, perseverance, industry, diligence, integrity, genuineness, and honesty are routes to the virtue of courage. The virtue of humanity and love may be reached through kindness, generosity, loving, and allowing oneself to be loved.
The strengths of justice show up in civic activities and may be exhibited by citizenship, duty, teamwork, loyalty, fairness, equity, and leadership. Temperance refers to the appropriate and moderate expression of your appetites and wants. It may be achieved by self-control, prudence, discretion, caution, humility, and modesty.
Appreciation of beauty and excellence, gratitude, hope, optimism, future-mindedness, spirituality, sense of purpose, faith, religiousness, forgiveness, mercy, playfulness, humour, zest, passion, and enthusiasm are the routes to the virtue of transcendence.
We possess these strengths of character to a lesser or more degree but some of these strengths are well pronounced and in abundance. We enjoy exhibiting these strengths and they come naturally to us. They are our signature strengthens and we must use them more and more, again and again in the mansions of life – work, love, and parenting.
AUTHENTIC HAPPINESS
To flourish, an individual must be authentically happy – experiencing positive emotions, deep engagement, and meaning in life. This means access to the pleasant life, the engaged or good life, and the meaningful life.
‘Pleasure’ and ‘gratification’ are two different words that are sometimes used interchangeably. Eating an ice-cream or getting a massage are examples of pleasure, while playing football or doing an act of kindness are examples of gratification.
Gratitude, forgiveness, savouring, mindfulness, optimism, and hope are some of the positive emotions that we can feel. A life that successfully pursues the positive emotions about the past, present, and future is the pleasant life.
If you want to be happy, you must discover your signature strengths and put them into action. Using your signature strengths to obtain abundant gratification in the main realms of life is the good life.
A meaningful life is a life of meaning. Using your signature strengths and virtues in the service of something much larger than you are is the meaningful life. To live all three lives is to lead a full life.
Positive emotion is good for happiness but engagement in meaningful work helps you flourish. Happiness is the experience of positive emotions like joy and ecstasy along with a feeling that life is meaningful and worthwhile.
Gratitude helps us build new relationships and strengthen existing ones. It dissolves anger, bitterness, and jealousy. Gratitude is a meta strategy for happiness. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude to be happier in life.
According to Edward Deiner, “Happiness doesn’t just feel good. It is good for you and for society. Happy people are more successful, have better relationships, are healthier and live longer.”
Apart from experiencing positive emotions, one must be engaged in a creative pursuit, and have a purpose in life. If you have an engaged and meaningful life, you are experiencing flourishing in life.
The individual must also have a positive outlook of life, full of hope and optimism, coupled with positive relationships and strong social support system. The person must always strive for positive accomplishments in life that become foundation stones for lasting happiness.
A person who has strived for positive accomplishments experiences authentic happiness and a greater sense of well-being.
THE MAGIC TRIANGLE
People that exhibit flourishing are engaged in social participation and people that are engaged in social participation exhibit flourishing. Along with personal achievement in their life, they also focus on civic duty and social engagement. According to Stefan Klein, “A civic sense, social equality, and control over our own lives constitute the magic triangle of well-being in society.”
To flourish, an individual must also have a good measure of self-esteem, vitality, resilience, and self-determination. We must learn to be resilient in handling day-to-day problems that are common and thinking more realistically and flexibly about the problems we encounter.
Flourishing is not something that you can find, acquire, or achieve directly. You must get the conditions right and then wait. Just as plants need sun, water, and good soil to thrive, people need love, work, and a connection to something larger.
Jonathan Haidt has expressed it succinctly, “It is worth striving to get the right relationships between yourself and others, between yourself and your work, and between yourself and something larger than yourself. If you get these relationships right, a sense of purpose and meaning will emerge. Happiness requires changing yourself and changing your world. It requires pursuing your own goals and fitting in with others.”
WHAT IS FLOURISHING?
Happiness is a thing and well-being is a construct. For example, weather is made up of elements like temperature, humidity, windspeed, barometric pressure, and the like.
Martin Seligman, known as the father of Positive Psychology, developed the PERMA model, which identifies the five things necessary for wellbeing. PERMA stands for positive emotion (P), engagement (E), relationships (R), meaning (M) and achievement (A).
If you are looking to increase the amount of happiness in your own life and on the planet, then your goal, perhaps, is authentic happiness. but, if you are looking to increase the amount of flourishing in your life and on the planet, your goal is well-being.
Please spare a while and answer the following questions honestly:
Taking all things together, how happy would you say you are?
Do you love learning new things?
Do you generally feel that what you do in your life is valuable and worthwhile?
In general, do you feel very positive about yourself?
Are you always optimistic about your future?
When things go wrong in your life, do you bounce back to normal soon?
Are there people in your life who really care about you?
Your answers to these questions are indicative of the following features of your personality:
Positive emotion
Engagement, interest
Meaning, purpose
Self-esteem
Optimism
Resilience
Positive relationships.
Based on their research in each of the twenty-three European Union nations, Felicia Huppert and Timothy So of the University of Cambridge have defined flourishing. According to them, to flourish an individual must have all the core features – positive emotions, engagement, and meaning – and three of the six additional features – self-esteem, optimism, resilience, vitality, self-determination, and positive relationships.
According to their findings, Denmark leads Europe, with 33 percent of its citizens flourishing. The United Kingdom has about half that rate, with 18 percent flourishing; Russia sits at the bottom, with only 6 percent of its citizens flourishing.
When individuals flourish, health, productivity, and peace follow. According to an estimate, 51 percent of the people of the world will be flourishing by the year 2051.
“It is all too commonplace not to be mentally ill but to be stuck and languishing in life.
“Positive mental health is a presence: the presence of positive emotion, the presence of engagement, the presence of meaning, the presence of good relationships, and the presence of accomplishment.
“Being in a state of mental health is not merely being disorder free; rather it is the presence of flourishing.”
Flourish / Martin Seligman
“By happiness I mean a deep sense of flourishing that arises from an exceptionally healthy mind. This is not a mere pleasurable feeling, a fleeting emotion, or a mood, but an optimal state of being. Happiness is also a way of interpreting the world, since it may be difficult to change the world, it is always possible to change the way we look at it.”
A Pathway to Authentic Happiness, Well-Being & A Fulfilling Life! We teach skills to lead a healthy, happy and meaningful life.
The Science of Happiness (Positive Psychology), Meditation, Yoga, Spirituality and Laughter Yoga. We conduct talks, seminars, workshops, retreats and training.
Authored six books on happiness: Cultivating Happiness, Nirvana – The Highest Happiness, Meditate Like the Buddha, Mission Happiness, A Flourishing Life, and The Little Book of Happiness. He served in a bank for thirty-five years and has been propagating happiness and well-being among people for the past twenty years. He is on a mission – Mission Happiness!
☆ # 05: Effortless practices for Happiness and Stress Management ☆
BE A FREE SOUL
“I think, one must finally take one’s life in one’s arms.”
Arthur Miller
We are all born free. We have the potential to be winners. We have a right to be self-determining. An authentic person experiences self-reality by knowing, being, and becoming a credible, responsive person.
We all have within us a child, an adult, and a parent. This becomes apparent when we respond differently to different situations – exhibiting fear, playfulness, balance, self-control, hatred, love, and compassion.
Sometimes we are childlike – full of feelings and emotions – laughing, crying, jumping, shouting, and screaming. At times we behave like an adult – fully aware and organized – oriented to the current reality. On other occasions, we tend to be like parents – critical and prejudicial – and often nurturing too!
Every state of mind is equally important and there is a time for it. There is a time to work and a time to play, a time to laugh and a time to cry, and a time to speak and a time to be silent.
We are all born free. We have the potential to be winners. We have a right to be self-determining. An authentic person experiences self-reality by knowing, being, and becoming a credible, responsive person.
Autonomy is a human birthright. Being autonomous means being self-governing and determining one’s own destiny. A slave can never be happy. A slave can never flourish.
According to Stephen Covey, “Every human has four endowments – self-awareness, conscience, independent will and creative freedom. These give us the ultimate human freedom… These give us the power to choose, to respond, and to change.”
We must begin by taking responsibility for our own actions and feelings. We must also learn to throw off patterns that are irrelevant and inappropriate to living in the here and now.
The litmus test of a truly autonomous person lies hidden in three fundamental capacities – awareness, spontaneity, and intimacy.
AWARENESS
Awareness is knowing what is happening now. An autonomous person is aware. His body and mind are in unison in the here and now. It is not that the body is physically present somewhere and the mind is wandering elsewhere.
One must not only be fully present but also fully aware of the situation, surroundings, and feelings of self and others. The decisions taken must depend upon the facts of the situation and not on some pre-conceived notions. Prejudices from the past must not impact actions in the present.
An autonomous person looks objectively at the situation in the present, listens attentively, seeks clarifications to arrive at a deeper understanding of the situation, and arrives at a balanced decision without being influenced by opinions.
One must be in touch with one’s feelings and sensations in the body. If you are tense, your breath is shallow. You can relax by taking a few deep breaths and exhaling in a relaxed manner. That will help you clear your mind and make a better decision.
Always listen to the other person with empathy, do not interrupt, and ask questions that help you understand the person in the right perspective. Do not form opinions about the person based on what you have been told earlier. Keep your mind open, make your own observations, and arrive at your conclusions based on the facts before you.
You must be fully present there. Fully mindful. Do not let your attention wander hither and thither. Let past prejudices and opinions not influence you. Be your own witness. Decide on your own based on the merits of the case. Take full responsibility of the decision taken by you. Be honest and upright.
Sometimes our parental influences crop up to affect our decisions or the playful child contaminates our thinking. One must be vigilant and must be in the right frame of mind, always fully aware, to make the right decisions in the here and now.
SPONTANEITY
You must have the spontaneity to choose from a whole range of behaviour that the child, adult, and parent residing within you prompt you to adopt. Your decisions must not always along the pre-decided patterns that you have been accustomed to witnessing for ages.
Spontaneity denotes choosing the right actions from a wide range of possibilities. You must choose the option that you find appropriate, as per your inner voice, and accept full responsibility for the decision. Let not your inner child or parent influence you, do not be victim of confusing voices from the past. Be analytical, choose what you find appropriate, and feel relaxed.
If you arrive at free and independent decisions, without being swayed by feelings and prejudices, you will not experience stress. You will be happy. Spontaneity helps you to be autonomous and take control of your destiny.
An autonomous person is spontaneous and flexible – not rigid and impulsive. The person is free despite basic instincts or drives, free despite inherited characteristics and environmental influences. An autonomous person can be realistic and choose from the entire spectrum of behaviour appropriate to the situation.
INTIMACY
Intimacy is expressing feelings of warmth, tenderness, and closeness toward others. One must shed masks and old programming, if any, and be warm toward people. One should not be sarcastic or play games with people. One should learn to let go and develop a capacity for intimacy.
People moving toward autonomy expands their personal capacities for awareness, spontaneity, and intimacy. Once you are open and have no conflicting voices within, you are in full control. There is no tension. You feel happy.
EXERCISE
Look inward to know yourself deeper.
Spare a few moments for yourself in a quiet place.
Just ponder:
How often do you behave like a child? Do you sulk or get angry often? Do you still laugh and play like a child?
What parental influences have you inherited? Do you have too many rigidities and prejudices? Are you nurturing and kind toward people?
How often do you analyse situations impartially? Are you aware of the circumstances and feelings of others? Do you make decisions in the here and now?
Are you still carrying burdens from the past that you would like to shed off?
How stressed do you feel?
Do you feel happy, content, and peaceful?
Are you doing your best under the situations?
What changes would you like to make in your life?
Where do you see yourself five years from now, ten years from now?
Take your own time. No hurry.
Get back to the questions that you feel are important and give a second thought.
Keep exploring. Try to be better and better every day.
You will feel liberated and on control of your destiny.
THE PARABLE OF THE EAGLE
Have you heard of the parable of the eagle? The parable is paraphrased beautifully in ‘Born to win’:
“Once upon a time, while walking through the forest, a certain man found a young eagle. He took it home and put it in his barnyard where it soon learned to eat chicken feed and to behave as chickens behave.
“One day, a naturalist who was passing by inquired of the owner why it was that an eagle, the king of all birds, should be confined to live in the barnyard with the chickens.
“Since I have given it chicken feed and trained it to be a chicken, it has never learned to fly,” replied the owner. “It behaves as chickens behave, so it is no longer an eagle.”
“Still,” insisted the naturalist, “it has the heart of an eagle and can surely be taught to fly.”
“After talking it over, the two men agreed to find out whether this was possible. Gently the naturalist took the eagle in his arms and said, “You belong to the sky, and not to the earth. Stretch forth your wings and fly.”
“The eagle, however, was confused; he did not know who he was, and, seeing the chickens eating their food, he jumped down to be with them again.
“Undismayed, the naturalist took the eagle on the following day, up on the roof of the house, and urged him again, saying, “You are an eagle. Stretch forth your wings and fly.” But the eagle was afraid of his unknown self and world and jumped down once more for the chicken food.
“On the third day the naturalist rose early and took the eagle out of the barnyard to a high mountain. There, he held the king of birds high above him and encouraged again, saying, ”You are an eagle. You belong to the sky as well as to the earth. Stretch forth your wings now, and fly.”
“The eagle looked around, back towards the barnyard and up to the sky. Still, he did not fly. Then the naturalist lifted him straight towards the sun and it happened that the eagle began to tremble, slowly he stretched his wings. At last, with a triumphant cry, he soared into the heavens.
“It may be that the eagle still remembers the chickens with nostalgia; it may be that he occasionally revisits the barnyard. But as far as anyone knows, he has never returned to lead the life of a chicken, He was an eagle though he had been kept and tamed as a chicken.”
Be a winner. Go, kiss the world!
“It takes courage to be a real winner – not a winner in the sense of beating out someone else by always insisting on coming out on top – but a winner at responding to life. It takes courage to experience the freedom that comes with autonomy, courage to accept intimacy and directly encounter other persons, courage to take a stand in an unpopular cause, courage to choose authenticity over approval and to choose it again and again, courage to accept the responsibility for your own choices, and, indeed, courage to be the very unique person you really are.”
A Pathway to Authentic Happiness, Well-Being & A Fulfilling Life! We teach skills to lead a healthy, happy and meaningful life.
The Science of Happiness (Positive Psychology), Meditation, Yoga, Spirituality and Laughter Yoga. We conduct talks, seminars, workshops, retreats and training.
Authored six books on happiness: Cultivating Happiness, Nirvana – The Highest Happiness, Meditate Like the Buddha, Mission Happiness, A Flourishing Life, and The Little Book of Happiness. He served in a bank for thirty-five years and has been propagating happiness and well-being among people for the past twenty years. He is on a mission – Mission Happiness!
☆ # 04: Effortless practices for Happiness and Stress Management ☆
KEEP EVOLVING, KEEP LEARNING
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately happy. What a man can be, he must be. This need we may call self-actualization.
-Abraham Maslow
The happiest persons on this planet are engaged deeply in creative pursuits. They are constantly in a state of flow. They keep on creating, exploring, and evolving.
Happiness lies in activity. It is like a flowing river, not a stagnant pool. Keep moving. Keep exploring. Learning is fun. Be a lifelong learner. Grow. Evolve. One who learns continuously, one who evolves continuously, one who is never stagnant, always remains cheerful, happy, and forward looking. There is no anxiety, depression, or stress.
Action may not always bring happiness but there is no happiness without action. Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions. You must do the work to achieve it.
The happiest persons on this planet are engaged deeply in creative pursuits. They are constantly in a state of flow. Time stands still for them. They never face boredom. One level of creativity leads to the next level. They keep on creating, exploring, and evolving. They exist at a different plane altogether.
Flow is total absorption in an activity – you lose sense of time and self. When you are in flow – deep into music, play, work, reading, or smiling with your child – oblivious of time and self, you are in heaven.
CREATE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS
What are you good at? What do you love doing? What is it that gives you contentment? Keep a palm on your heart and choose that activity honestly. Do not choose what others are doing or what you think will make you famous. Choose the activity that you are good at and find genuinely absorbing.
Try to find ways and means to do the activity as often as possible. Go deep into it and learn all the finer points. Develop your skills in the field, be a learner of the deepest level, and master all the skills needed to be the best in the field. Do not compare or compete with anyone else, compete with yourself, and be your best self.
Challenges will come. Overcome those challenges by hard work and matching your skills to meet the challenge. Stretching yourself more and more will take you to newer heights. You will be fully immersed in what you do. You will learn new skills every day. You will grow every day. You will evolve on an ongoing basis. There is no happiness like this.
Keep evolving, keep learning something new all the time. Think differently and be connected to creativity. Read a book, listen to music, paint, watch a movie, write poetry, pen a short story, record a video with a good message – anything meaningful and beautiful enough to engage you with intensity.
Create or immerse yourself in the creation of another mind. You may start with immersing yourself in the creativity of others and gradually learn to be creative in your own way. Do not be in a hurry. People often make the mistake of taking a jump before they are fully ready. Learning an art or a science takes a long time and requires patience and hard work.
You can create your own happiness by voluntarily engaging in activities like helping someone, being kind, expressing gratitude, nurturing social relationships, increasing flow experiences, practicing yoga and meditation, exercising regularly, and savouring life’s little pleasures. Choose the activities that you like and practice them regularly.
OPTIMAL EXPERIENCE
One must carefully understand each word of what Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi says about engagement and happiness, “Happiness is not something that happens. It is not the result of good fortune or random chance. It is not something that money can buy or power command. It does not depend on outside events, but rather on how we interpret them.
“Happiness, in fact, is a condition that must be prepared for, cultivated, and defended privately by each person. People who learn to control inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is as close as any one of us can come to being happy.
“The best moments in our lives are not passive, receptive, relaxing times. The best moments usually occur when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. Optimal experience is thus something that we make happen.”
Flow is the psychology of optimal experience. The optimal state of inner experience is one in which there is order in consciousness. During flow, people experience deep enjoyment, creativity, and a total involvement with life.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi says, “By stretching skills, by reaching toward higher challenges, a person, who has achieved control over psychic energy and has invested it in carefully chosen goals, becomes an increasingly extraordinary individual.”
PLATEAU EXPERIENCE
Abraham Maslow coined and defined the term “plateau experience” as a sort of continuing peak experience that is more voluntary and one that requires a lifetime of long and arduous effort.
Maslow describes the experience, “Such people who appear to be in harmony with their lives often have moments of an extraordinary occurrence called ‘peak experiences’. These are profound moments of intense rapture and well-being, along with possibly the awareness of ultimate truth and the unity of all things. Accompanying them is a heightened sense of control over the body and emotions and a wider sense of awareness.”
According to Ed Diener, “Psychological wealth includes life satisfaction, the feeling that life is full of meaning, a sense of engagement in interesting activities, the pursuit of important goals, the experience of positive emotional feelings, and a sense of spirituality that connects people to things larger than themselves.”
EXERCISE
Making the right decisions.
Imagine you have a collection of six hats of different colours – white, red, black, yellow, green, and blue. These are your tools for arriving at the right decisions in complex life situations.
Think of a problem that you have been facing. The problem is confusing and perplexing. You are finding it difficult to arrive at a solution.
Let us begin solving it in a creative and systematic way.
Begin with wearing the white hat.
The white hat denotes purity. You look only at the pure data. Just information and facts of the case. No opinion, views, or prejudices.
You may write down the problem and all related data on a sheet of paper, or prepare a document on your computer.
Make sure it is pure data, no opinions, or pre-conceived notions.
Take off the white hat and put on the red hat.
The red hat denotes emotions. Only emotions. What you feel. No logic, pure emotions.
Express and go through all the emotions. Your fears, anxieties, and hopes about the case. Whatever you feel. Let the whole range of feelings – positive, neutral, and negative – flow. No justifications needed.
Be as irrational and emotional as you can.
Take off the red hat and put on the black hat.
The black hat is the devil’s advocate. Everything that is wrong and that may go wrong in the case. All the failures, drawbacks, and negatives about the case. The emotional as well as the logical dark side.
Imagine all that can go wrong and the havoc that may be created.
Now, take off the black hat and put the yellow hat.
Yellow is the colour of sunshine, positivity, and optimism. Look at the brighter side of the problem and list all that is good and full of hope about it.
Look at all the positives and be full of optimism and hope.
Take off the yellow hat and put on the green hat.
Green is the colour of creativity and nature. Be creative. Look at the problem from totally different perspectives. Be creative. Think laterally. Think something new, innovate, and out of the box.
Imagine what no one has ever thought about the problem. Be disruptive in your thinking, not just incremental. Find totally new solutions. Brainstorm to the fullest. Use your whole range of thinking – make use of the entire rainbow.
Now, put down the green hat and put on the blue hat.
Blue is the colour of the sky. It covers everything.
Consider whatever you have thought and felt wearing all the hats – white, red, black, yellow, and green – and summarize them. You must arrive at a balanced decision, taking everything into consideration. You must weigh all the pros and cons.
Make the ultimate decision. Let there be no doubt in mind. All apprehensions must be given consideration and cleared. Take very single factor into account and arrive at the most comprehensive decision.
Your decision should not be lopsided or taken without considering any angle. Let it be all encompassing.
You arrive at the right decision and there is no stress.
This method of arriving at a balanced decision in complex situation has been devised by Edward de Bono and is known as the Six Thinking Hats.
Not being able to reach at the right decisions causes stress and anxiety. Knowing how to make the right decisions relieves you of stress. If you have a thinking mind, if you are creative, if you are positive, if you believe in activity, and if you are not afraid to take the right decisions, you will always be happy and stress-free.
“Thinking is the ultimate human resource. Yet we can never be satisfied with our most important skill. No matter how good we become, we should always want to be better. The main difficulty in thinking is confusion. We try to do too much at once. Emotions, information, logic, hope, and creativity all crowd in on us. It is like juggling with too many balls. The six thinking hats allow us to conduct our thinking as a conductor might lead an orchestra. We can call forth what we will.”
Six Thinking Hats/ Edward de Bono
“A good life is one that is characterized by complete absorption in what one does.”
A Pathway to Authentic Happiness, Well-Being & A Fulfilling Life! We teach skills to lead a healthy, happy and meaningful life.
The Science of Happiness (Positive Psychology), Meditation, Yoga, Spirituality and Laughter Yoga. We conduct talks, seminars, workshops, retreats and training.
Authored six books on happiness: Cultivating Happiness, Nirvana – The Highest Happiness, Meditate Like the Buddha, Mission Happiness, A Flourishing Life, and The Little Book of Happiness. He served in a bank for thirty-five years and has been propagating happiness and well-being among people for the past twenty years. He is on a mission – Mission Happiness!
☆ # 02: Effortless practices for Happiness and Stress Management ☆
BREATHE, LOOK INWARD
“In our daily life our minds are almost continually externalized. We see and hear only what is going on outside of us, and we have little understanding of the events taking place in our inner environment.”
Swami Satyananda Saraswati
Deep breathing is the simplest way to relax physically, mentally, and emotionally – anytime, anywhere.
We spend most of our waking time looking at the external world. Seldom do we look inward. Most of the time we are not aware of our respiration. Our feelings, emotions and thoughts overpower us as we do not have time to watch them dispassionately.
We have been given guidelines as to how to search for things outside ourselves but hardly any directions have been given on how to look inwards. We must train ourselves to look inside.
How good would it be if we could look at our real selves and understand what is happening in our inner world. There is so much turmoil there. If it could somehow be resolved, we would be in harmony with ourselves and feel peaceful.
Deep breathing is the simplest way to relax physically, mentally, and emotionally – anytime, anywhere. Just sit down, back straight, feet firmly grounded, eyes closed, and take three deep breaths.
Breathe deeply through your nose, into your belly, and exhale in a relaxed manner. The longer and slower the exhalation, the better it will be. You will experience relaxation instantly.
If you are feeling stressed, take three deep breaths again. Depending on the fatigue and time available, you may repeat the three deep breaths any number of times. Once you get accustomed to the practice and feel the benefits for yourself, you will be able to do it quietly while doing any other work.
Deep breathing infuses oxygen – a vital life force – into your bloodstream and expels toxins and stale carbon dioxide. You feel refreshed and more productive.
INNER SILENCE
The outer world is full of volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity. That makes it perplexing.
On one hand, there are challenges but, on the other hand, there are opportunities. You must make your own decisions. The pros and cons of every step cause anxiety and hope.
There are many voices coming from the inside that may sometimes confuse you. If you know how to cope with the inner noise, you will have better control of the happenings around you.
EXERCISE
Observing inner noise and inner silence.
Roll a yoga mat or a small carpet on the floor. Place a small cushion over it.
Sit down comfortably on the cushion, legs folded crosswise, back straight, head straight, and eyes gently closed.
Take your own time to settle down. No hurry.
Listen to the sounds around you. Do not feel disturbed. No sound is good, no sound is bad. Do not worry about its origin. Do not concentrate on it. Just listen as a dispassionate observer.
After some time, you will hear less and less of the sounds.
Keeping your eyes closed, look at yourself internally. Pass your attention through each of your body parts. Do it in a relaxed manner.
Observe your breath as it goes in through the nostrils and comes out.
Watch your feelings and thoughts as they come and go. Do not worry if they are good or bad. Just watch them like an observer.
Initially, there will be a lot of noise inside, but it will gradually fade away, as you continue to watch it like a neutral spectator.
Do not be in a hurry. Take your own time to settle down.
Now, generate a thought consciously. Watch the thought like a witness. Let it fade away.
Generate another thought. Watch it dispassionately. Let it also go away.
Do not let any random thought occupy your mind. If any random thought arises, dispose it off. Do not allow it to stay.
This is the stage to generate thoughts at your will – the thoughts that you wish to have – watch them for some time and then let them go away.
In the next phase, dispose all random thoughts and any other thoughts that your mind generates. Let there be no thoughts.
As soon as a thought crops up, watch it and dispose it off. Do not allow any thought to stay in your mind.
Let there be shoonya or total vacuum. The mind must be totally empty. No thoughts must be allowed to stay there. Dispose them immediately.
This state of thoughtlessness is inner silence.
In the beginning, you were witness to inner noise. Now, you are observing inner silence.
This relaxes the mind fully and you experience peace. The stress goes away.
You feel relaxed.
When you do this exercise for the first few times, you may not get the desired results fully. But, after some practice, you will start feeling relaxed and stress free.
It is a practice, when once developed, remains with you throughout the day. Just look inwards and observe what is going on dispassionately. Like a witness.
You may practice it daily – any time – for about twenty to forty minutes.
This is an ancient practice, known as antar mouna, or inner silence.
Online versions of antar mouna by Swami Niranjananada Saraswati are freely available and you may initially listen to them and develop your practice. After some time, you will be able to do it by yourself.
The best time for any practice of a meditative nature is early in the morning when the surroundings are peaceful. You may also do antar mouna in the evening after returning from work, or before going to bed. It takes a while to develop the practice but, after some time, you start experiencing life optimally.
“Antar mouna is one of the few ‘permanent sadhanas’ which can be practised simultaneously all the twenty-four hours of the day by anyone who is really determined to know oneself. By maintaining awareness of one’s internal environment, thoughts, emotional reactions, etc., one can speed up one’s personal evolution to the utmost degree. It will make one understand the workings of one’s own rational and irrational mind, as well as giving one an understanding of what makes other people tick.”
Meditations from the Tantras/ Swami Satyananda Saraswati
“Antar mouna is a complete training system for the awareness process; it teaches one how to know the processes of the mind and ways in which one can bring them under control.”
A Pathway to Authentic Happiness, Well-Being & A Fulfilling Life! We teach skills to lead a healthy, happy and meaningful life.
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☆ Meditate Like The Buddha # 22: Consolidating Meditation ☆
A Lifetime’s Practice
You have successfully completed a structured journey for beginning, establishing, strengthening, and consolidating your meditative practice. This guide has provided a step-by-step approach, ensuring clarity and depth at every stage.
Meditation is not merely something to be learned and set aside—it is a lifetime’s practice. The instructions in this series have been compiled based on years of self-practice and experience in guiding individuals and groups. If followed diligently, they will provide a strong foundation for lifelong mindfulness and inner peace.
How to Progress Through the Series
This series has been carefully designed with small, structured steps to help you build your meditative practice progressively. To ensure maximum benefit, follow these guidelines:
Step-by-Step Mastery
Begin with The First Step, focusing on a stable and comfortable sitting posture.
Spend 10 to 15 minutes daily in this posture until you feel completely at ease.
Some may take a few days, others longer—there is no rush.
Watching the Breath
Move to the next step, Watch Your Breath, only when fully confident in your posture.
Simply observe your breath:
Ever mindful, breathe in. Mindful, breathe out.
This is the most fundamental step—take your time with it. Only when fully comfortable should you proceed further.
Advancing Through the Stages
Follow the lessons in sequence, ensuring each step is well-practised before moving ahead.
Some steps may need to be repeated for several days—this is normal.
Do not rush; progress only when you feel ready and confident.
Cumulative Practice
As you move forward, always begin with the first steps before introducing new ones.
Over time, earlier steps will require less attention, allowing more focus on new techniques.
Developing a Daily Routine
Start with 10 to 15 minutes of practice and gradually increase the duration.
Aim for at least an hour of daily meditation once all steps have been completed.
Meditation is not a one-time learning experience but an ongoing journey of self-discovery.
Deepening Your Practice
Once you reach A Summary of the Steps, consider revisiting earlier lessons for further refinement.
Repeating the series slowly and steadily will deepen your understanding and experience.
Over time, what may have seemed monotonous at first will transform into a joyful and enriching experience.
Meditation, when practiced regularly, becomes an integral part of life—bringing peace, clarity, and happiness.
Go ahead and enjoy your voyage into the realm of calm!
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Please click on the following links to read previously published posts “Meditate Like The Buddha: A Step-By-Step Guide” 👉
A Pathway to Authentic Happiness, Well-Being & A Fulfilling Life! We teach skills to lead a healthy, happy and meaningful life.
The Science of Happiness (Positive Psychology), Meditation, Yoga, Spirituality and Laughter Yoga. We conduct talks, seminars, workshops, retreats and training.
☆ Meditate Like The Buddha # 20: The Four Jhanas ☆
“Quite secluded from sense desires, secluded from unwholesome states of mind, one enters upon and dwells in the first jhana, which is accompanied by applied thought and sustained thought with happiness and bliss born of seclusion.”
The Role of Jhanas in Meditation
The Buddha attained enlightenment meditating beneath the Bodhi tree. He expounded two interrelated systems of meditation:
Serenity meditation (Samatha Bhavana): Develops a calm, concentrated, and unified mind.
Insight meditation (Vipassana Bhavana): Leads to a direct understanding of the true nature of phenomena.
A set of meditative attainments known as jhanas plays a crucial role in both systems. These heightened mental states provide a pleasant abiding in the present moment and deepen meditative absorption.
To attain the jhanas, a meditator must eliminate the five hindrances:
Sensual desire
Ill will
Sloth and torpor
Restlessness and worry
Doubt
The mind’s absorption in its object arises through five opposing jhana factors:
Applied thought
Sustained thought
Rapture
Happiness
One-pointedness
The Four Jhanas
The First Jhana
“Quite secluded from sense desires, secluded from unwholesome states of mind, one enters upon and dwells in the first jhana, which is accompanied by applied thought and sustained thought with happiness and bliss born of seclusion.”
The initial stage of meditative absorption.
Marked by applied and sustained thought, leading to happiness and bliss.
The Second Jhana
“With the stilling of applied and sustained thought, one enters upon and dwells in the second jhana, which has internal confidence and singleness of mind without applied thought, without sustained thought, with happiness and bliss born of concentration.”
A deeper state where thought subsides.
Inner confidence arises, and bliss is sustained by concentration.
The Third Jhana
“With the fading away of happiness as well, one dwells in equanimity, and mindful and fully aware, feels bliss with the body; he enters upon and dwells in the third jhana.”
Happiness transitions into equanimity and deep mindfulness.
Bliss is experienced physically with heightened awareness.
The Fourth Jhana
“With the abandoning of pleasure and pain and with the previous disappearance of joy and grief, he enters upon and dwells in the fourth jhana, which has neither-pain-nor-pleasure and has purity of mindfulness due to equanimity.”
A state of profound balance where pleasure and pain, joy and grief fade away.
Equanimity and purity of mindfulness become fully established.
Conclusion
The jhanas offer a structured path toward deeper concentration and inner peace. Progressing through these states refines the mind, leading to wisdom and ultimately, liberation from suffering.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Please click on the following links to read previously published posts “Meditate Like The Buddha: A Step-By-Step Guide” 👉
A Pathway to Authentic Happiness, Well-Being & A Fulfilling Life! We teach skills to lead a healthy, happy and meaningful life.
The Science of Happiness (Positive Psychology), Meditation, Yoga, Spirituality and Laughter Yoga. We conduct talks, seminars, workshops, retreats and training.
☆ Meditate Like The Buddha # 18: THE FOUR NOBLE TRUTHS ☆
“Birth is suffering, aging is suffering, sickness is suffering, death is suffering. Sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are suffering. Association with the loathed is suffering, dissociation from the loved is suffering, not getting what one wants is suffering; in brief, the five aggregates subject to clinging are suffering.”
Understanding the Four Noble Truths
The Four Noble Truths constitute the fundamental doctrine of the Buddha’s teachings:
The Noble Truth of Suffering (Dukkha):
Suffering exists in various forms: birth, aging, sickness, and death.
Sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair also constitute suffering.
The five aggregates subject to clinging are ultimately a source of suffering.
The Noble Truth of the Origin of Suffering (Samudaya):
The root of suffering is craving (tanha) for sensual pleasures, existence, and extermination.
This craving leads to renewed existence, attachment, and the cycle of suffering.
The Noble Truth of the Cessation of Suffering (Nirodha):
The cessation of suffering is achieved by relinquishing and abandoning craving.
It is the complete fading away and cessation of desire, leading to non-attachment and liberation.
The Noble Truth of the Path Leading to the Cessation of Suffering (Magga):
The path to liberation is the Noble Eightfold Path:
Right View
Right Intention
Right Speech
Right Action
Right Livelihood
Right Effort
Right Mindfulness
Right Concentration
The Five Aggregates Subject to Clinging
The First Noble Truth identifies the five aggregates as fundamental to suffering:
Form (Rupa) – The physical body and material aspects.
Feeling (Vedana) – Sensations of pleasure, pain, or neutrality.
Perception (Sanna) – Recognition and mental labeling of experiences.
Mental Formations (Sankhara) – Volitional activities, thoughts, and habits.
Consciousness (Vinnana) – Awareness of sensory and mental experiences.
These aggregates are impermanent, non-self, and subject to change. Understanding this leads to dispassion and liberation from attachment.
Cultivating Insight
To fully comprehend the Four Noble Truths:
The truth of suffering must be fully understood.
The origin of suffering must be abandoned.
The cessation of suffering must be realized.
The path leading to the cessation of suffering must be developed.
By walking the Noble Eightfold Path, one progresses toward the cessation of suffering, ultimately attaining Nibbana—the highest liberation.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Please click on the following links to read previously published posts “Meditate Like The Buddha: A Step-By-Step Guide” 👉
A Pathway to Authentic Happiness, Well-Being & A Fulfilling Life! We teach skills to lead a healthy, happy and meaningful life.
The Science of Happiness (Positive Psychology), Meditation, Yoga, Spirituality and Laughter Yoga. We conduct talks, seminars, workshops, retreats and training.
A Pathway to Authentic Happiness, Well-Being & A Fulfilling Life! We teach skills to lead a healthy, happy and meaningful life.
The Science of Happiness (Positive Psychology), Meditation, Yoga, Spirituality and Laughter Yoga. We conduct talks, seminars, workshops, retreats and training.
